.
 Angel's Secrets

Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quotes

.

Buffy: I told you. I said end of the world, and you're like 'poo-poo, Southern California, poo-poo!'
Giles: I'm so very sorry. My contrition completely dwarfs the impending apocalypse.
Doomed
received 9.7% of 72 votes

Faith: Payback's a bitch.
Willow: Look who's talking.
This Year's Girl
received 9.7% of 113 votes

Buffy: Are you mad at me?
Riley: No, no, not at all. I'm plotting your death, but in a happy way.
Real Me
received 9.7% of 124 votes

Giles: I can't believe you served Buffy that beer.
Xander: I didn't know it was evil.
Giles: But you knew it was beer.
Xander: Well, excuse me, Mr. "I spent the sixties in an electric Kool-Aid funky Satan groove."
Giles: It was the early seventies, and you should know better.
Beer Bad
received 9.5% of 63 votes

Buffy: There's no way he could know. I mean, you don't just look at someone and say, "Hey, that's not your body. Get out of that body with your hands up!"
Superstar
received 9.4% of 96 votes

Angelus: You got a lot to learn about men, kiddo. Although I guess you proved that last night.
Buffy: What are you saying?
Angelus: Let's not make an issue out of it, okay? In fact, let's not talk about it at all. It happened.
Buffy: I, I don't understand. Was it m-me? Was I not good?
Angelus: You were great. Really. I thought you were a pro.
Innocence
received 9.1% of 77 votes

Xander: I'm sorry, but let's not forget that I hated Angel long before you guys jumped on the bandwagon. So I think I deserve a little something for not saying 'I told you so' long before now. And if Giles wants to go after the, uh, fiend that murdered his girlfriend, I say, 'Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!'
Passion
received 9% of 89 votes

Kendra: In case de curse does not succeed, dis is my lucky stake. I have killed many vampires wit it. I call it Mr. Pointy.
Buffy: You named your stake?
Kendra: Yes.
Buffy: Remind me to get you a stuffed animal.
Becoming, Part 1
received 9% of 89 votes

Xander: And they burst in, rescuing us, without even knocking? I mean, this is really all their fault.
Buffy: Your logic does not resemble our Earth logic.
Xander: Mine is much more advanced.
The Wish
received 8.9% of 79 votes

Buffy: Is Sunnydale any better than when I first came here? Okay, so I battle evil. But I don't really win. The bad keeps coming back and getting stronger. Like that kid in the story, the boy that stuck his finger in the duck.
Angel: Dike. It's another word for dam.
Buffy: Oh. Okay, that story makes a lot more sense now.
Gingerbread
received 8.9% of 79 votes

Buffy: I'm gonna have to punch you, aren't I?
Willy: Just once. And it don't have to hurt, just make it look good.
Willy: Ow! Oh!
Buffy: Not yet. I haven't touched you!
Goodbye, Iowa
received 8.9% of 56 votes

Buffy: The Initiative created this thing and they can't stop it. But we will.
Xander: Question: will hiding in a cabin with stockpiled chocolate goods be any part of this plan?
Buffy: No.
Xander (to Willow): Told you.
This Year's Girl
received 8.9% of 56 votes

Buffy: We don't know what she's thinking, what she's feeling...
Xander: Who she's doing.
This Year's Girl
received 8.9% of 56 votes

Willow: Thanks for coming with. Hunting for a psychopathic super-bitch is definitely in the above-and-beyond category.
Tara: It's okay, really. So, what do we do if we find her?
Willow: Run. Flee. Maybe skedaddle.
This Year's Girl
received 8.9% of 113 votes

Anya: Xander. You said you wanted to check the board at the unemployment office this morning. You can't go like that. They won't even interview you if you're naked.
Primeval
received 8.9% of 79 votes

Willow: So Tibet was your favorite?
Oz: Well, it's where I stayed the longest. This warlock in Romania sent me to the monks there to learn some meditation techniques. Very intense. All about keeping your inner cool.
Willow: Good. 'Cause you were such a spaz before.
New Moon Rising
received 8.8% of 68 votes

Buffy: Okay, I'm all with the whoo-hoo, here, and you're not.
Willow: No, there's "whoo," and "hoo." But there's "uh-oh" and "why now?" And it's complicated.
New Moon Rising
received 8.8% of 68 votes

Xander: Y'know, this might go a lot faster if you femmes actually picked up a shovel, too.
Giles: Here, here.
Buffy: Sorry, but I'm an old-fashioned gal. I was raised to believe that men dig up the corpses and the women have the babies.
Some Assembly Required
received 8.7% of 58 votes

Xander: Kerouac. He's my teacher. The open road, my school.
Buffy: Making the open dumpster your cafeteria?
Xander: Go ahead, mock me.
Oz: I think she just did.
Xander: We bohemian, anti-establishment types have always been persecuted.
Oz: Well, sure, you're all so weird.
Choices
received 8.5% of 59 votes

Giles (to Buffy): Well, it could definitely be one of your prophetic dreams, or it could just be the eternal mystery that is your brain.
Hush
received 8.3% of 60 votes

Xander: What? He wants to die, I want to help.
Willow: It's ooky. We know him, we can't just let him poof himself!
Spike: Oh, but you can. You know I'd drain you drier than the Sahara if I had half a chance. And besides, I'm beyond pathetic. Stuck in this basement washing skivvies for a blighter I wouldn't have bothered to bite a few months ago.
Doomed
received 8.3% of 72 votes

Buffy: But this is so nice. Having everyone together for my birthday. Of course, you could smash in all my toes with a hammer and it will still be the bestest Buffy Birthday Bash in a big long while.
A New Man
received 8.3% of 72 votes

Buffy: But someone could wish the whole earth to be different, right? That's possible?
Anya: Sure, alternate realities. You could have, like, a world without shrimp. Or with, you know, nothing but shrimp. You could even make, like, a freaky world where Jonathan's like, some kind of not-perfect mouth-breather, if that's what's blowing up your skirt these days. Just don't ask me to live there.
Superstar
received 8.3% of 96 votes

Xander: Here's your coffee. Brewed from the finest Colombian lighter fluid.
Giles: Horrible.
Xander: Aren't you supposed to be drinking tea anyway?
Giles: Tea is soothing. I wish to be tense.
Graduation Day, Part 2
received 8.2% of 109 votes

Willow: I knew it! I knew it! Well, not "knew it" in the sense of having the slightest idea, but I knew there was something I didn't know.
received 8.1% of 123 votes

Faith: I could eat a horse. Isn't it crazy how slayin' just always makes you hungry and horny?
Buffy: Well... Sometimes I-I crave a nonfat yogurt afterwards.
Faith, Hope and Trick
received 8% of 88 votes

Xander: Uh, no worries. I can handle the Oz Full Monty. I mean, not 'handle' handle, like 'hands to flesh' handle.
Willow: Okay. Well, it's not for you. It's for me, 'cause I'm still getting used to half a Monty.
Xander: Oh. Good. Half? You and Oz? Which half?
Willow: Wouldn't you like to know?
Beauty and the Beasts
received 8% of 88 votes

Buffy: Long story.
Cordelia: Got hunted.
Buffy: Apparently not that long.
Homecoming
received 8% of 88 votes

Xander: Visiting hours are over.
Angelus: Well, I'm pretty much family.
Xander: Yeah. Why don't you come back during the day? Oh, gee, no, I guess you can't.
Angelus: If I decide to walk into Buffy's room, do you think for one microsecond that you could stop me?
Xander: Maybe not. Maybe that security guard couldn't either. Or those cops... or the orderlies... But I'm kinda curious to find out. You game?
Angelus: Buffy's White Knight. You still love her. It must just eat you up that I got there first.
Xander: You're gonna die. And I'm gonna be there.
Killed by Death
received 7.9% of 89 votes

Giles: Yes, let's not jump to any conclusions.
Buffy: I didn't jump. I took a tiny step, and there conclusions were.
Phases
received 7.8% of 77 votes

Angel: Hey. I was wondering when you were coming.
Buffy: I'm not coming back. We're not friends. We never were. And I can fool Giles, and I can fool my friends, but I can't fool myself. Or Spike, for some reason. What I want from you I can never have. You don't need me to take care of you anymore. So I'm gonna go.
Angel: I don't accept that.
Buffy: You have to.
Angel: How can...There's gotta be some way we can still see each other.
Buffy: There is: tell me that you don't love me.
Lovers Walk
received 7.6% of 79 votes

Walsh: It's only our methods that differ. We use the latest in scientific technology and state-of-the-art weaponry, and you, if I understand correctly, poke them with a sharp stick.
Buffy: Oh, it's more effective than it sounds.
A New Man
received 7.6% of 66 votes

Buffy: Mom, I've accepted that you've had sex. I am not ready to know that you had Farrah hair.
Joyce: This is Gidgit hair. Don't they teach you anything in history?
The Witch
received 7.4% of 68 votes

Wesley: Why don't you tell me everything about last night's patrol.
Buffy: Vampires.
Wesley: Yes?
Buffy: Killed 'em.
Bad Girls
received 7.4% of 54 votes

Anya: Men like sports. I'm sure of it.
Xander: Yes. Men like sports. Men watch the action movie, they eat of the beef, and they enjoy to look at the bosoms. A thousand years of avenging our wrongs, and that's all you've learned?
Graduation Day, Part 1
received 7.3% of 109 votes

Willow: I know she's not over the whole Riley sleeping with Faith thing. You know what I mean - Faith's insides in Buffy's outsides, when her insides were out.
Superstar
received 7.3% of 96 votes

Tara: Do you like cats?
Willow: I'm more of a dog person, myself. But I'm not, like, "death to all cats."
New Moon Rising
received 7.3% of 68 votes

Willow: Well, I think we have Dracula factoids.
Xander: Like any of that's enough to fight the Dark Master -- bator.
Buffy Vs. Dracula
received 7.3% of 124 votes

Buffy: It's too late anyway. I'm already at the I-hurt-when-he-hurts, I-smile-when-he-smiles stage.
Anya: I hate that part.
Goodbye, Iowa
received 7.1% of 56 votes

Willow: What did you tell him?
Buffy: The truth - that she's my wacky identical cousin from England, and whenever she visits, hijinks ensue.
Willow: It's good you guys have such an honest relationship.
This Year's Girl
received 7.1% of 56 votes

Giles: This is a special operations unit. They, uh, handle the council's trickier jobs - smuggling, interrogation, wetworks.
Willow: What's wetworks?
Xander: Scuba-type stuff.
Anya: I thought it was murder.
Xander: Well, yeah, but there could be underwater murder, with snorkels.
Who Are You?
received 7.1% of 113 votes

Xander: We do have Spaghetti-o's. Set them on top of the dryer and you're a fluff cycle away from lukewarm goodness.
Riley: I, um, had dryer food for lunch.
The Replacement
received 7.1% of 28 votes

Xander: Yeah, maybe it's definitely time to start looking for a new place. Something a little nicer. Buffy, you've been to Hell. They have one bedrooms, right?
The Replacement
received 7.1% of 28 votes

Xander: So you bought the Magic Shop and you were attacked before it opened. Who's up for a swinging chorus of the "We Told You So" symphony?
The Replacement
received 7.1% of 28 votes

Xander: But I never help. I get in trouble and Buffy saves me.
Willow: That's not true! Sometimes we all help to save you.
The Replacement
received 7.1% of 28 votes

Xander: So, when you gave him my neck to chew on, why didn't you clock him before he had a chance to clock you?
Angel: I told you. I couldn't make the first move. I had to see if he was buying it or not.
Xander: A-and if he bit me, what then?
Angel: We would've known he bought it.
School Hard
received 6.9% of 58 votes

Jenny: Did anyone ever tell you you're kind of a fuddy-duddy?
Giles: Nobody ever seems to tell me anything else.
Jenny: Did anyone ever tell you you're kind of a sexy fuddy-duddy?
Giles: Well, no. Actually that, that part usually gets left out.
The Dark Age
received 6.9% of 58 votes

Anya: A year and a half ago, I could have eviscerated him with my thoughts. Now I can barely hurt his feelings. Things used to be so much simpler.
Spike: You know, you take the killing for granted. And then it's gone, and you're like... I wish I'd appreciated it more. Stopped and smelled the corpses, you know?
Where the Wild Things Are
received 6.9% of 58 votes

Spike: What are you doing? You brought me here?
Xander: Anya? What are you doing? You brought him here?
Spike: That's what I said. Only I hit the "here" part.
Where the Wild Things Are
received 6.9% of 58 votes

Dracula: Actually, you are known throughout the world.
Buffy: No...really?
Dracula: Why else would I come here? For the sun?
Buffy Vs. Dracula
received 6.8% of 132 votes

Giles: If your identity as the Slayer is revealed it could put you and all those around you in grave danger.
Buffy: Well, in that case I won't wear my button that says, 'I'm the Slayer, ask me how!'
Never Kill a Boy on the First Date
received 6.7% of 90 votes

Giles: Cordelia, have you actually ever heard of tact?
Cordelia: Tact is just not saying true stuff. I'll pass.
Killed by Death
received 6.7% of 89 votes

Buffy: Impulsive? Do you remember my ex-boyfriend, the vampire? I slept with him, he lost his soul, now my boyfriend's gone forever, and the demon that wears his face is killing my friends. The next impulsive decision I make will involve my choice of dentures.
I Only Have Eyes For You
received 6.7% of 89 votes

Riley: What have you got going on tonight?
Buffy: Oh, patrolling.
Riley: Patrolling?
Buffy: Uh, petroleum.
Riley: Petroleum?
Buffy: Uh huh.
Riley: Tonight you have crude oil.
Buffy: And homework. What about you?
Hush
received 6.7% of 60 votes

Eddie: Did you lose your way?
Buffy: Me? Oh, no, no, no - I'm just going to Fisher Hall, which I know is on the... Earth planet. Recently voted "Most Pathetic", uh-huh.
Eddie: Well, I'm lost, and I have a map, so...
Buffy: Ooh, I come in second.
The Freshman
received 6.6% of 105 votes

Buffy: We're just going to the magic shop. No school supplies there.
Dawn: Yeah, Mom, I'm not going to Hogwarts.
[She giggles at her joke till she notices Buffy looking annoyed and confused.]
Dawn: Geez, crack a book sometime.
Real Me
received 6.5% of 124 votes

Harmony: I'm not gonna make the same mistakes you did. I've been doing my homework, reading books and stuff.
Spike: What, "Evil For Dummies"?
Real Me
received 6.5% of 124 votes

Willow: But there's a drawback.
Riley: A drawback?
Xander: That happens a lot.
Superstar
received 6.3% of 96 votes

Xander: Maybe I should join the Army.
Anya: Don't they make you get up really early in the morning?
Xander: Oh, yeah. Never mind.
Primeval
received 6.3% of 79 votes

Giles: You know what gets me?? This is what gets me: twenty years I've been fighting demons. Maggie Walsh and her Nancy-ninja boys come in and six months later, demons are pissing themselves with fear. They never even noticed me.
Ethan: Who's Maggie Walsh?
Giles: Oh, she's awful. She said I was an absent male role model. Absent my ass. I'm twice the man she is.
A New Man
received 6.1% of 66 votes

Giles: Well, it's become quite obvious that Buffy doesn't need me. I don't say that in a self-pitying way. I'm, I'm quite proud, actually.
Willow: But what about the rest of us? We still need to be watched! Personally, I can't get through a day without a little hairy eyeball.
Buffy Vs. Dracula
received 6.1% of 132 votes

Willow: Xand? What if somebody had a secret and that somebody promised somebody else that they wouldn't tell anyone.
Xander: Newsflash, Will. Everybody knows.
Willow: This isn't about me and Tara.
Xander: Oh, not that I wouldn't be all ears if you wanted to tell me a secret about you two. Even if it was very very naughty.
Buffy Vs. Dracula
received 6.1% of 132 votes

Buffy: Well, I gotta look on the bright side. Maybe I can still get kicked out of school!
Xander: Oh, yeah, that's a plan. 'Cause lots of schools aren't on Hellmouths.
Willow: Maybe you could blow something up. They're really strict about that.
Buffy: I was thinking of a more subtle approach, y'know, like excessive not studying.
Giles: The Earth is doomed!
The Harvest
received 5.9% of 68 votes

Giles: For God's sake be careful. I mean, uh, I appreciate your efforts to keep the vampire population down until Buffy returns, but, uh... Well, if anything should happen to you and... you should be killed, I should take it somewhat amiss.
Willow: You'd be cranky?
Giles: Entirely.
Anne
received 5.6% of 88 votes

Xander: One day I'll have money. Prestige. Power. And on that day they'll still have more.
Reptile Boy
received 5.6% of 54 votes

Angel: Faith, you have a choice. You've tasted something few ever do. I mean, to kill without remorse is to feel like a god.
Faith: Right now, all I feel is a cramp in my wrist, so let me go!
Angel: But you're not a god. You're not much more than a child. Going down this path will ruin you. You can't imagine the price for true evil.
Faith: Yeah? I hope evil takes MasterCard.
Consequences
received 5.6% of 54 votes

Anya: For a thousand years I wielded the powers of The Wish. I brought ruin to the heads of unfaithful men. I brought forth destruction and chaos for the pleasure of the lower beings. I was feared and worshipped across the mortal globe. And now I'm stuck at Sunnydale High. Mortal. Child. And I'm flunking math.
Dopplegangland
received 5.6% of 54 votes

Buffy: You don't know what my life is like.
Riley: But I'm dying to find out.
Buffy: Dying being the operative word here. Okay, there is too much risk. There is too much... It's just doomed! And I can't do doomed *again* right now. Sorry.
Doomed
received 5.6% of 72 votes

Riley: No, I mean you're stupid. I mean... I don't mean that. No, I think maybe I do.
Buffy: Wow, with sweet talk like that, you'll definitely melt my reservations.
Riley: I'm serious. You have this twisted way of looking at things, this doom and gloom mentality. You keep thinking like that and things will probably turn out just the way you expect.
Buffy: You know there is nothing more dangerous than a psyche grad student.
Doomed
received 5.6% of 72 votes

Joyce: He seemed so nice and normal...a little pale.
Willow: A good Sunnydale rule of thumb? Avoid white skinned men in capes.
Buffy Vs. Dracula
received 5.6% of 124 votes

Riley: I thought we had plans today?
Buffy: Plans? We planned plans?
Riley: Well, you said, "Come over tomorrow and we'll hang," and then I said, "Okay." Not the invasion of Normandy, but still a plan.
Real Me
received 5.6% of 124 votes

Faith: Miles to go. Little Miss Muffet counting down from 7-3-0.
Buffy: Great. Riddles.
Graduation Day, Part 2
received 5.5% of 109 votes

Riley: Hope you don't mind us tagging along.
Willow (with a forced smile): No. No, of course not. The more the... more.
The I in Team
received 5.4% of 56 votes

Buffy: This is the Initiative, Xander. Military guys and scientists do not make out with each other!
Xander: Well maybe that's what's wrong with the world. Ever think about that?
Goodbye, Iowa
received 5.4% of 56 votes

Giles: Well, we have to find her.
Willow: What about Adam?
Xander: I'd hate to see the pursuit of a homicidal lunatic get in the way of pursuing a homicidal lunatic.
This Year's Girl
received 5.4% of 56 votes

Buffy: But what else could I expect from a bunch of low-rent, no account hoodlums like you - hoodlums! Yes, I mean you and your friends, your whole sex, throw 'em in the sea for all I care, throw 'em in and wait for the bubbles. Men, with your groping and spitting, all-groin no-brain three billion of ya passin' around the same worn out urge. Men. With your... sales.
Restless
received 5.4% of 56 votes

Giles (singing): And try not to bleed on my couch, I just had it steam-cleaned.
Restless
received 5.4% of 56 votes

Buffy: Are you quite finished. It's over, okay? I'm going to ignore you, and you're going to go away. You're really going to have to get over the whole primal power thing. You're not the source of me. Also, in terms of hair care, you really want to say, "What kind of impression am I making in the workplace?" 'Cause...
Restless
received 5.4% of 56 votes

Riley: And, uh, after that, I went a little nuts! You know? I mean... On the one hand... I should believe in us. But on the other... Sometimes things happen between exes and when I saw that he was bad...
Buffy: He's... not bad.
Riley: Seriously? That's... a good day?
The Yoko Factor
received 5.3% of 76 votes

Riley: I take it you're not an Angel fan either?
Xander: Well, it's not like I hate the guy. Just, you know... the guts part of him.
The Yoko Factor
received 5.3% of 76 votes

Cordelia: I can't even believe you. You dragged me out of bed for a ride? What am I, mass transportation?
Xander: That's what a lot of the guys say, but it's just locker room talk. I wouldn't pay it any mind.
What's My Line, Part 1
received 5.2% of 77 votes

Spike: Slightly stiffer than usual. Subtle, but I like it. What's with him?
Adam: I activated his chip.
Spike: Oh, so it's chips all around, is it? Someone must have bought the party-pack.
Primeval
received 5% of 79 votes

Willow: So...why do you think Spike made with the head games?
Xander: He's all dressed up with no one to bite. He's got to get his yayas somehow.
Primeval
received 5% of 79 votes

Xander: And was there a lesson in all of this? What have we learned about beer?
Buffy: Foamy!
Xander: Good. Just so that's clear.
received 4.9% of 123 votes

Willow: Bored now.
received 4.9% of 123 votes

Buffy: And you are?
Sunday: Oh, I'm Sunday. I'll be killing you here in a minute or so.
Buffy: You know, that threat gets more frightening every time I hear it.
Guy Vamp: Uh, are we gonna fight, or is there just gonna be a monster sarcasm rally?
The Freshman
received 4.8% of 105 votes

Riley: You're not just saying that because of those dark penetrating eyes of his, are you?
Buffy: Noooo, his eyes were -- there were... there was no penetration. Cross my heart.
Buffy Vs. Dracula
received 4.8% of 124 votes

Buffy: It's not his fault. He's 243 years old. He doesn't exactly get the prom.
Willow: But he should. If he...
Buffy: Will, it's okay. You don't have to make him the bad guy.
Willow: But, that's the best friend's job. Vilifying and grousing.
The Prom
received 4.6% of 109 votes

Xander: The band. They're great. They march.
Willow: Like an army. Except with music instead of bullets, and usually no one dies.
Band Candy
received 4.5% of 88 votes

Riley: Uh, what are you doing?
Buffy: I'm *going* to the car.
Riley: Buffy, I can't take you with me.
Buffy: You're not taking me with you. I am going and I am letting you come along.
A New Man
received 4.5% of 66 votes

Dracula: I came to meet the renowned killer.
Buffy: Yeah, I prefer the term Slayer. You know, killer just sounds so...
Dracula: Naked?
Buffy: Like I... paint clowns or something.
Buffy Vs. Dracula
received 4.5% of 132 votes

Willow: Well, when I'm with a boy I like, it's hard for me to say anything cool, or, or witty, or at all. I-I can usually make a few vowel sounds, and then I have to go away.
Welcome to the Hellmouth
received 4.4% of 68 votes

Buffy: She's a very dangerous woman.
Riley: Okay, I get it, Faith bad. Do I look like I'm arguing?
Buffy: Not yet. But you always make that innocent face right before you start.
Riley: Figured that out, huh? Damn. Took Mom twelve years to catch that one.
This Year's Girl
received 4.4% of 113 votes

Willow: I wish those council guys would let me have an hour alone in the room with her, if I was larger and had grenades.
Who Are You?
received 4.4% of 113 votes

Anya: They weren't very well organized. If they had all rushed at Buffy, they could have killed her right away.
Buffy: Thanks, Anya. That won't keep me awake all night.
Superstar
received 4.2% of 96 votes

Buffy: I'm just saying it doesn't make any sense. He starred in the Matrix but he never left town. And how'd he graduate from Med school? He's only 18 years old.
Xander: Effective time-management?
Superstar
received 4.2% of 96 votes

Spike: Can you fix `em?
Willow: Crack a government encryption code on my laptop? Easy as really difficult pie.
The Yoko Factor
received 3.9% of 76 votes

Buffy: I think I'll choose to celebrate this one with quiet reflection.
Xander: Where is it written that quiet reflection can't be combined with cake and funny hats?
Helpless
received 3.8% of 79 votes

Parker: You think I could get a dance with the prettiest girl at the party?
Buffy: And what do I do, just stand here and watch?
The Harsh Light of Day
received 3.8% of 105 votes

Jack: I'm gonna carve you up and serve you with gravy. You piss me off, boy. Now you pay the price. First the eyes, then the tongue. I'm gonna break every one of your fingers.
Xander: You gonna do all that in forty-nine seconds?
The Zeppo
received 3.7% of 54 votes

Angel: Time was, I thought humans existed just to hurt each other. But then I came here. And I found out that there are other types of people. People who genuinely wanted to do right. And they make mistakes. And they fall down. You know, but they keep caring. Keep trying. If you can trust us, Faith, this can all change. You don't have to disappear into the darkness.
Consequences
received 3.7% of 54 votes

Anya: You know, you can laugh, but I have witnessed a millennium of treachery and oppression from the males of the species. And I have nothing but contempt for the whole libidinous lot of them.
Xander: Then why are you talking to me?
Anya: I don't have a date for the prom.
The Prom
received 3.7% of 109 votes

Willow: Plus, don't forget that '314' thing that Ethan told Giles about.
Buffy: Well, a man that worships chaos and tries to kill you, is a man you can trust.
The I in Team
received 3.6% of 56 votes

Willow: Plus Riley, he seems like he wouldn't tell a little white lie, let alone a whole bunch of big dirty ones.
Xander: That's why they call it the secret forces, Will, 'cause they kinda keep the whole lying thing to themselves.
Goodbye, Iowa
received 3.6% of 56 votes

Willow: I don't know why it's after me.
Buffy: Well, you must have done something.
Willow: No, I never do anything. I'm very seldom naughty.
Restless
received 3.6% of 56 votes

Anya: But you have references.
Xander: No. I have Albert which is me doing an important voice.
The Replacement
received 3.6% of 28 votes

Anya: We can have the Scooby meetings in the living room. And Giles can explain the boring things...over there.
The Replacement
received 3.6% of 28 votes

Xander: It's a robot! It's an evil robot constructed from evil parts that look like me designed to do evil!
Willow: Uh-huh, or it's Toth.
Xander: Or it's Toth!
The Replacement
received 3.6% of 28 votes

Faith: Thought I'd got to the clean marine, didn't you? He's a cutie. Looks like he could use a good roll in the sack.
Buffy: You're not his type. He's not big on sleaze.
Faith: He's probably just never tried it.
This Year's Girl
received 3.5% of 113 votes

Buffy: I wasn't gonna use violence. I don't always use violence. Do I?
Xander: The important thing is *you* believe that.
Inca Mummy Girl
received 3.4% of 58 votes

Willow: The Lonely Ones?
Angel: Vampires.
Xander: Oh! We usually call them the nasty, pointy, bitey ones.
Lie to Me
received 3.4% of 58 votes

Buffy: How are you?
Faith: Five by five.
Buffy: I'll interpret that as "good."
Revelations
received 3.4% of 88 votes

Xander: And on the day the words "flimsy excuse" were redefined, we stood in awe and watched.
Enemies
received 3.4% of 59 votes

Giles: I was just filling Buffy in on my progress regarding the research of Ascension.
Wesley: Oh. And what took up the rest of the minute?
Giles: Touché.
Earshot
received 3.4% of 59 votes

Buffy: I just can't decide on a school right now. I mean... I want to sleep on it, you know, mull it over. Raise 'em up my inner flagpole, see which one I salute.
Choices
received 3.4% of 59 votes

Willow: I'm pregnant by my stepbrother who'd rather be with my best friend whose left me with no place to live. No food except this bottle of wild turkey which I drank all up.
[Xander looks confused.]
Willow: That was me being tanked and friendless for ya.
Xander: Gets my Oscar nod.
Beer Bad
received 3.4% of 89 votes

Buffy: I went to see Xander. Then I saw Parker. Then came beer.
Willow: And then group sex?
Buffy: Gutter face. No! Just lots and lots of beer. It's nice. Foamy. Comforting.
Beer Bad
received 3.4% of 89 votes

Giles: Uh, well, basically the, uh, the She-Mantis assumes the form of a beautiful woman and then lures innocent virgins back to her nest.
Buffy: Virgins? Well, Xander's not a, uh...I mean, he's probably...
Willow:...gonna die!
Teacher's Pet
received 3.3% of 90 votes

Giles: I've been reading up on my, uh, animal possession, and I cannot find anything anywhere about memory loss afterwards.
Xander: Did you tell them that?
Giles: Your secret dies with me.
Xander: Shoot me, stuff me, mount me.
The Pack
received 3.3% of 90 votes

Buffy: No actual witches in your witch group?
Willow: No. Bunch of wanna blessed bees. You know, nowadays every girl with a henna tattoo and a spice rack thinks she's a sister to the Dark Ones.
Hush
received 3.3% of 60 votes

Willow: How come you didn't tell me I look like a crazy birthday cake?
Buffy: I thought that was the point.
Wild at Heart
received 3.2% of 63 votes

Willow: Okay, say that I help. And you start a conversation, it goes great. You like Buffy, she likes you. You spend time together, feelings grow deeper. One day, without even realizing it, you find you're in love. Time stops. And it feels like the whole world's made for you two, and you two alone. Until the day one of you leaves and rips the still beating heart from the other, who is now a broken, hollow mockery of the human condition.
The Initiative
received 3.2% of 63 votes

Anya: What kind of place are you looking for?
Spike: I don't know. Maybe a crypt. Someplace, you know, dark and dank -- but not as dark and dank as this.
Anya: It's pretty depressing, isn't it?
Spike: I've known corpses with a fresher smell. In fact, I've been one.
A New Man
received 3% of 66 votes

Ethan: I've really got to learn to just do the damage and get out of town. It's the stay-and-gloat. Gets me every time.
A New Man
received 3% of 66 votes

Buffy: Do you *know* what a Slayer is?
Dracula: Do you?
Buffy Vs. Dracula
received 3% of 132 votes

Buffy: I told you he'd heard of me, right? I mean, can you believe that? Count Famous heard of me.
Riley: I couldn't believe it the first twenty times you told us, but it's starting to sink in now.
Buffy Vs. Dracula
received 3% of 132 votes

Buffy: I didn't say I'd never slay another vampire. It's not like I have all these fluffy bunny feelings for them, I'm just not gonna get way extracurricular with it.
Welcome to the Hellmouth
received 2.9% of 68 votes

Harmony (to Spike): I am powerful and beautiful and I don't need you to complete me. And you're mean!
Pangs
received 2.9% of 68 votes

Willow: Why do demons even come here? I mean, don't they know how bad we are?
Graduation Day, Part 2
received 2.8% of 109 votes

Buffy: Tell me about this symbol.
Willow: Right. It was carved into his chest, like a big creepy eye.
Xander: It's kind of like the CBS logo. Hey, could this be the handiwork of one Mr. Morley Safer?
Doomed
received 2.8% of 72 votes

Willow: Yeah. I hope they throw the book at her.
Giles: I'm not sure there is a, a book for this.
Willow: They could throw other things.
Who Are You?
received 2.7% of 113 votes

Riley (scoffs): She went running to L.A. to bone up on her history.
Xander: No! I'm sure it's boneless.
The Yoko Factor
received 2.6% of 76 votes

Anya: Can't even point a decorative gun?
Xander: Give it up for a American chipmanship.
The Yoko Factor
received 2.6% of 76 votes

"Here endeth the lesson." The Master in Angel, Spike in Fool For Love, and Buffy at some point.
received 2.4% of 123 votes

Xander: See! Buffy didn't feel it. I think you're drawing a lot of crazy conclusions about the Unholy Prince -- bator.
Buffy Vs. Dracula
received 2.4% of 124 votes

Harmony: What's your question?
Cyrus: When are we gonna do it?
Harmony: Eww! That's rude. I barely know you. And you're a minion.
Mort: He means the plan! When are we gonna do the plan?
Harmony: Ohhh! The plan.
Real Me
received 2.4% of 124 votes

Giles: I'm, I'm just gonna stay and clean up a little. I'll, uh, I'll be back in the middle ages.
Ms. Calendar: Did you ever leave?
I Robot, You Jane
received 2.2% of 90 votes

Buffy: You mean besides convince a perfectly nice kid to try and kill me? I don't know. How about mess up all the medical equipment in the world?
Giles: Randomize traffic signals.
Buffy: Access launch codes for our nuclear missiles.
Giles: Destroy the world's economy.
Buffy: I think I pretty much capped it with that nuclear missile thing.
Giles: Right, yours was best.
I Robot, You Jane
received 2.2% of 90 votes

Willow (about Xander's fake ID): I don't believe this is entirely on the up and up.
Xander: What gives it away?
Willow: Looking at it.
Beer Bad
received 2.2% of 89 votes

Buffy: Parker's problem with intimacy turns out to be that he can't get enough of it. And knew it. I knew what he was. If he were tied and gagged and left in a cave that vampires happen to frequent it wouldn't really be like I killed him, really.
Beer Bad
received 2.2% of 89 votes

Willow: Drowning your troubles over Parker. Mind frying man! He deserves a slow and torturous death by spiderbites. Well, for today we'll just have to throw spitballs at his neck in class.
Beer Bad
received 2.2% of 89 votes

Willow: Buffy's looking at Parker, who, it turns out, has a reflection, so big plus there.
The Harsh Light of Day
received 1.9% of 105 votes

Buffy: I know how you feel. Giles used to be part of this Council. And for years, all they ever did was give me orders.
Riley: Ever obey them?
Buffy: Sure. The ones I was going to do anyway.
This Year's Girl
received 1.8% of 56 votes

Larry: You and Buffy, you're just friends, right?
Xander: I like to think of it less as a friendship and more as a solid foundation for future bliss.
Halloween
received 1.7% of 58 votes

Mayor: Angelus, may I call you Angel?
Angel: Well, I'm thinking more along the lines of you calling me Master.
Mayor: Ahh. You know Angelus, attitude may get you attention, but courtesy wins respect.
Enemies
received 1.7% of 59 votes

Riley: So, tell me about your dream. As a psyche major, I'm qualified to go 'hmmm.'
Hush
received 1.7% of 60 votes

Olivia: All the times you used to talk to me about witchcraft and darkness and the like - I just thought you were being pretentious.
Giles: Oh, I was. I was also right.
Olivia: So everything you told me was true.
Giles: Well, no. Um, I wasn't actually one of the original members of Pink Floyd.
Hush
received 1.7% of 60 votes

Giles: And yet you say that the vampire went to the demon's aid. The two of them were working as a team?
Buffy: Everything except giving each other little pats on the behind.
Where the Wild Things Are
received 1.7% of 58 votes

Tara: Things aren't going very well.
Willow: No! This drama class is just... I think they're really just doing things in the proper way, and now I'm in a play, and my whole family's out there, and why is there a cowboy in "Death of A Salesman", anyway?
Restless
received 1.7% of 56 votes

Buffy: When he wakes up tell him... I don't know. Think of something cool, tell him I said it.
received 1.6% of 123 votes

Xander: Well, how 'bout this. We whip out the ouija board, light a few candles, summon some ancient, unstoppable evil... mayhem, mayhem, mayhem. We show up and kick its ass.
Giles: Wee bit unethical.
The Initiative
received 1.6% of 63 votes

Buffy: This... guy. Dark, gorgeous in an annoying sort of way. I figured you two were buds.
Giles: No. The Harvest. Did he say anything else?
Buffy: Something about the Mouth of Hell. I *really* didn't like him!
Welcome to the Hellmouth
received 1.5% of 68 votes

Willow: When did you get back?
Oz: Pretty much now.
New Moon Rising
received 1.5% of 68 votes

Oz: Yeah, we talked all night.
Willow: Well, I believe a manly-sized breakfast is in order, don't you?
Oz: Or we could just... sleep a little while. Whatever you want.
Willow: I'll have the less confusing waffles right now.
New Moon Rising
received 1.5% of 68 votes

Giles: Pardon the robe, it's a bit of a late start.
Willow: Right.
Tara: Hope you're feeling all right, Mr. Giles.
Giles: Oh, yes, quite well, thank you. Yes, I'll probably have a brisk jog later on.
Primeval
received 1.3% of 79 votes

Spike: Now, if you'll just get the chip out of my cranium, I'll be out of your way. And mind the hairline. I don't fancy fussing with a comb-over once I've resumed my killing ways.
Primeval
received 1.3% of 79 votes

Angelus: Jeez, is it me, or is your heart not in this? Maybe I'll just go home, destroy the world.
Buffy: Well, I think Mr. Pointy'll have something to say about that. Come on. Let's finish this. You and me.
Angelus: You never learn, do you? This wasn't about you. This was never about you. And you fall for it every single time!
Becoming, Part 1
received 1.1% of 89 votes

Frat Guy: Oh, no. I rudely interrupted and it sounds like the two of you were having quite the meeting of minds. Possibly debating the geopolitical ramifications of bioengineering. You got a take on that?
Xander: I've got beer. You want some beer?
Beer Bad
received 1.1% of 89 votes

Riley: We're drawing up a plan for world domination. The key element? Coffeemakers that think.
Buffy: World domination? Is that a good?
Riley: Buffy, we're the government. It's what we do.
received 0.8% of 123 votes

Anya: I love a ritual sacrifice.
Buffy: Not really a one of those.
Anya: To commemorate a past event, you kill and eat an animal. It's a ritual sacrifice...with pie.
received 0.8% of 123 votes

Harmony: I trust you made our guest ... comfortable?
Mort (confused): You told me to chain her to a wall.
Harmony: Yeah, I know, I'm being, you know, sarcastic or whatever?
Real Me
received 0.8% of 124 votes

Willow: What about Angel?
Buffy: Angel? I can just see him in a relationship. 'Hi, honey, you're in grave danger. I'll see you next month.'
Willow: He's not around much, it's true.
Buffy: When he is around...it's like the lights dim everywhere else. You know how it's like that with some guys?
Willow: Oh, yeah!
Angel
received 0% of 90 votes

Buffy: Okay, Giles, just remember, 'I feel a thing, you feel a thing...' But personalize it.
Giles: Personalize it?
Buffy: She's a technopagan, right? Ask her to bless your laptop.
Some Assembly Required
received 0% of 58 votes

Buffy: I don't take orders. I do things my way.
Kendra: No wonder you died.
What's My Line, Part 2
received 0% of 77 votes

Joyce: Just nothing with horror in it. Or romance. Or men.
Buffy: I guess we're Thelma and Louise-ing it again.
Ted
received 0% of 77 votes

Coach Marin: You got some imagination, Missy.
Buffy: Oh, well, right now I'm imagining you in jail. You're wearing a big orange suit, and, oh look, the guards are beating you up.
Go Fish
received 0% of 89 votes

Angel: Milady, you'll find that with the exception of an honest day's work, there's no challenge I'm not prepared to face.
Becoming, Part 1
received 0% of 89 votes

Willow: Hmm, "Buffy." Ooh, scary.
Xander: Someone has to talk to her people. That name is striking fear in nobody's hearts
The Wish
received 0% of 79 votes

Xander: I think that the boys in the car are contained for the time being. This will give them some time to ponder the geo-political ramifications of BEING MEAN TO ME!
Beer Bad
received 0% of 63 votes

Buffy: No big? Anybody remember when Buffy had the fun beer fest and went 1 million years B.C.?
Xander: Sadly, without the fuzzy bikini.
Anya: Off topic, Xander.
Xander: Right.
Something Blue
received 0% of 63 votes

Riley: What's a Slayer?
Forrest: Slayer. Thrash Band. Anvil-handed guitar band with delusions of Black Sabbath.
Riley: No. A girl, with powers.
Forrest: Oh. *The* Slayer. Oh, yeah, I've heard of the Slayer.
Doomed
received 0% of 72 votes

Riley: But why? Why can't it be?
Buffy: Because I've tried it, okay? And every time it just fell apart. And then I get sucked right back in to the uber-evil.
Riley: Welcome to the story of the world. Things fall apart Buffy. And evil, it comes and goes. But the way people manage is, they don't do it alone. They pull each other through. If you weren't so self involved you'd see that.
Buffy: You have no idea what you're talking about. You barely know me.
Doomed
received 0% of 72 votes

Anya: No Xander! Not in a boyfriend way or a lead-him-to-a-certain-death way.
Buffy: He's the only one with military experience.
Anya: It's not like he was in The 'Nam. He was G.I. Joe for one night!
Goodbye, Iowa
received 0% of 56 votes

Julie: You're funny.
Xander: Thanks. That is, funny "how amusing", or funny "back away and avoid eye contact"?
Julie: Kinda both.
Where the Wild Things Are
received 0% of 58 votes

Xander: You're overreacting. We had a fight. But see, it's okay. It's normal.
Anya: It's the normal part of ending a relationship, right before the vengeance begins.
Xander: Right. No! Vengeance?
Where the Wild Things Are
received 0% of 58 votes

Buffy: There's different degrees of...
Riley: Evil?
Buffy: It's just... different with different demons. There are creatures -- vampires, for example -- that aren't evil at all.
Riley: Name one.
New Moon Rising
received 0% of 68 votes

Riley: So you want your mother to give you space to be a Slayer, and shield you from it at the same time?
Buffy: Thank you, logic boy. Did I mention this is a rant? Sense really has no place in it.
Riley: I'm getting that.
Real Me
received 0% of 124 votes

Dawn (voiceover): He says I'm like a kid sister...
Xander (looking at the game board) : Here comes the judge!
Dawn (voiceover): ...but sometimes when he looks at me, I feel like he sees me as I am... as a woman.
[We see that Dawn has chocolate ice cream smeared all over her face.]
Real Me
received 0% of 124 votes

Mort: I know who he is. He kills our kind.
Harmony: Oh yeah! [to Spike] What's up with that?
Spike (shrugs): Bloke's gotta have a hobby, don't he?
Real Me
received 0% of 124 votes

.

Quotes Index » Buffy Quotes Poll Results » BtVS Quotes Page 2

Angel's Secrets is a rusted-crush.com production. This not-for-profit fan website is a display of admiration and expression, and we gratefully acknowledge the sources that have helped make this site and this layout possible. No infringement of any kind is intended. The Frequently Asked Questions page contains more site information, including the terms of use for posting our original content elsewhere. Thank you for visiting; enjoy the site!