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 Angel's Secrets

Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quotes

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Xander: That's my radio!
Spike: And you're what? Shocked and disappointed? I'm evil!
A New Man
received 44.4% of 72 votes

Buffy: What are you doing here. Five words or less.
Spike: Out. For. A. Walk... Bitch.
No Place Like Home
received 40.7% of 123 votes [Finalist! received 29.6% of 277 votes]

Gachnar: I am the dark lord of nightmares. The bringer of terror! Tremble before me. Fear me!
Willow: He... he's so cute!
Gachnar: Tremble!
Xander: Who's the little fear demon? Come on, who's the little fear demon?
Giles: Don't taunt the fear demon.
Xander: Why, can he hurt me?
Giles: No. It's just... tacky.
Fear, Itself
received 37.1% of 89 votes

Buffy: How bored WERE you last year?
Giles: I watched "Passions" with Spike. Let us never speak of it.
Real Me
received 36.3% of 124 votes

Buffy: We better get there soon. If Xander kills himself, he's dead... You know what I mean.
The Replacement
received 35.7% of 28 votes

Buffy: I kill your kind.
Spike: And I bite yours. So how come I don't wanna bite you? And why am I fightin' other vampires? I must be a noble vampire. A good guy. On a mission of redemption. I help the hopeless. I'm a vampire with a soul.
Buffy: A vampire with a soul? Oh my god, how lame is that?
Tabula Rasa
received 35.3% of 68 votes [Finalist! received 2.5% of 277 votes]

Xander: And where'd you get that accent? Sesame Street? Vun, two, three -- three victims. Mwa ha ha!
Buffy Vs. Dracula
received 34.1% of 132 votes

Buffy: I've been looking for you.
Faith: I've been standing still for eight months, B. How hard you look?
This Year's Girl
received 33.9% of 56 votes

Cordelia: I personally don't think it's possible to come up with a crazier plan.
Oz: We attack the Mayor with hummus.
Cordelia: I stand corrected.
Oz: Just keeping things in perspective.
Graduation Day, Part 2
received 33.0% of 109 votes

Angel: This isn't some fairy tale. When I kiss you, you don't wake up from a deep sleep and live happily ever after.
Buffy: No. When you kiss me I wanna die.
Reptile Boy
received 32.8% of 58 votes [Finalist! received 7.9% of 277 votes]

Giles: How did you get in?
Spike: The door was unlocked. You might want to watch that, Rupert. Someone dangerous could get in.
Buffy: Or someone formerly dangerous and currently annoying.
New Moon Rising
received 32.4% of 68 votes

Spike: This is the crack team that foils my every plan? I am *deeply* shamed.
Something Blue
received 31.7% of 63 votes

Angel: What's happening?
Buffy: Shh. Don't worry about it. I love you.
Angel: I love you.
Buffy: Close your eyes.
Becoming, Part 2
received 31.5% of 89 votes [Finalist! received 5.1% of 277 votes]

Willow: That's what it was! I mean, why else would she be acting like such a b-i-t-c-h?
Giles: Willow, I think we're all a little too old to be spelling things out.
Xander: A bitca?
When She Was Bad
received 31.1% of 90 votes [Finalist! received 6.9% of 277 votes]

Xander: Dammit! You know what? I'm sick of this crap. I'm sick of being the guy who eats insects and gets the funny syphilis. As of this moment, it's over. I'm finished being everybody's butt monkey!
Buffy: Check. No more butt monkey.
Buffy Vs. Dracula
received 30.7% of 124 votes

Anya: Crap! Look at this-- now I'm burdened with a husband and several tiny pink children, and more cash than I can reasonably manage.
Xander: That means you're winning.
Anya: Really?
Xander: Yes, cash equals good.
Anya: Ooh! I'm so pleased. Can I trade in the children for more cash?
Real Me
received 29.8% of 124 votes

Wesley: Buffy, you will go to the Gleave's family crypt tonight and fetch the amulet.
Buffy: I will?
Wesley: Are you not used to being given orders?
Buffy: Whenever Giles sends me on a mission, he always says "please." And afterwards I get a cookie.
Bad Girls
received 29.6% of 54 votes [Finalist! received 6.9% of 277 votes]

Giles: Damn it, man, we have to get inside! Our, um, uh... our families are in there! Our, um, mothers, and tiny, tiny babies!
Who Are You?
received 28.3% of 113 votes

Whistler: Bottom line is, even if you see 'em coming, you're not ready for the big moments. No one asks for their life to change, not really. But it does. So what are we, helpless? Puppets? No. The big moments are gonna come. You can't help that. It's what you do afterwards that counts. That's when you find out who you are.
Becoming, Part 1
received 28.1% of 89 votes [Finalist! received 10.8% of 277 votes]

Buffy: My diary? You read my diary? That is *not* okay! A diary is like a person's most private place! I... You don't even know what I was writing about! 'Hunk' can mean a lot of things, bad things. And, and when it says that your eyes are 'penetrating', I meant to write 'bulging'.
Angel: Buffy...
Buffy: And 'A' doesn't even stand for 'Angel' for that matter, it stands for... 'Achmed', a charming foreign exchange student, so that whole fantasy part has nothing to even do with you at all...
Angel: Your mother moved your diary when she came in to straighten up. I watched from the closet. I didn't read it, I swear.
Angel
received 27.8% of 90 votes [Finalist! received 9.7% of 277 votes]

Spike: I was actually at Woodstock. That was a weird gig. I fed off a flowerperson, and I spent the next six hours watchin' my hand move.
School Hard
received 25.9% of 58 votes [Finalist! received 6.5% of 277 votes]

Buffy (referring to two demons): Okay, you get Fang, I'll get Horny. I mean...
Where the Wild Things Are
received 25.9% of 58 votes

Oz: I'm gonna ask you to go out with me tomorrow night. And I'm kinda nervous about it, actually. It's interesting.
Willow: Oh. Well, if it helps at all, I'm gonna say yes.
Oz: Yeah, it helps. It-it creates a comfort zone. Do you wanna go out with me tomorrow night?
Willow: Oh! I can't!
Oz: Well, see, I like that you're unpredictable.
Surprise
received 24.6% of 77 votes [Finalist! received 14.1% of 277 votes]

Buffy: You know, you could have brought that up to us before we did it.
Giles: I did! I said there could be dire consequences.
Buffy: Yes, but you say that about chewing too fast.
Restless
received 23.2% of 56 votes

Spike: Nasty sort of fellow. Lucky for you blighters I was here, eh?
Giles: Yes. Thank you. Although your heroism is slightly muted by the fact that you were helping Adam to start a war that would kill us all.
Xander: You probably just saved us so we wouldn't stake you right here.
Spike: Well, yeah. Did it work?
Primeval
received 22.8% of 79 votes

Spike: Bloody hell, woman. You're cutting off my circulation.
Buffy: You don't have any circulation.
Spike: Well, it pinches.
Pangs
received 22.2% of 63 votes

Giles: I thought vampires were supposed to eat blood.
Spike: Yeah, well, sometimes I like to crumble up the Wheat-a-Bix in the blood. Give it a little texture.
Giles: Since the picture you just painted means I will never touch food of any kind again, you'll just have to pick it up yourself.
Spike: Sissy.
Hush
received 21.7% of 60 votes

Angel: Um, am I gonna see you this weekend? You, uh, you-you probably have plans.
Buffy: Right, birthday. Um, actually, I, I do have a thing.
Angel: Oh, a thing. A date?
Buffy: Nice attempt at casual. Actually, I do have a date. Older man. Very handsome. He likes it when I call him 'Daddy'.
Angel: Huh, your father. It is your father, right?
Helpless
received 21.5% of 79 votes

Spike: You're not friends. You'll never be friends. You'll be in love till it kills you both. You'll fight, and you'll shag, and you'll hate each other till it makes you quiver, but you'll never be friends. Love isn't brains, children, it's blood...blood screaming inside you to work its will. I may be love's bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it.
received 21.1% of 123 votes

Spike: You know, for someone who's got "Watcher" on his resume, you might want to cast an eye to the front door every now and again.
The Yoko Factor
received 21.1% of 76 votes

Buffy: How did you find me here?
Angel: If I was blind, I would see you.
Anne
received 20.5% of 88 votes

Angel: Be careful with this gift. A lot of things that seem strong and good and powerful, they can be painful.
Buffy: Like say, immortality?
Angel: Exactly, I'm dying to get rid of that.
Buffy: Funny.
Angel: I'm a funny guy.
Earshot
received 20.3% of 59 votes

Willow: It's just, in high school, knowledge was pretty much frowned upon. You really had to work to learn anything. But here, the energy, the collective intelligence... It's like this force, this penetrating force, and I can just feel my mind opening up, you know, and letting this place just thrust into and, and spurt knowledge into... That sentence ended up in a different place than it started out in.
The Freshman
received 20% of 105 votes

Walsh: So, the Slayer.
Buffy: Yeah, that's me.
Walsh: We thought you were a myth.
Buffy: Well, you were myth-taken.
A New Man
received 19.7% of 66 votes

Willow: Well, why don't we experiment? Press some buttons, see what happens.
Giles: Well, I'd like to veto that.
Xander: Second. It's called a blaster, Will. A word that tends to discourage experimentation. Now, if it were called the Orgasmator, I'd be the first to try your basic button-press approach.
This Year's Girl
received 19.7% of 56 votes

Buffy: You've got to be kidding me. This is why you came?
Angel: No. This was accident.
Buffy: Running a car into a tree is an accident! Running your fist into somebody's face is a plan!
The Yoko Factor
received 19.7% of 76 votes

Xander: Storm the Initiative? Yeah, let's take on those suckers!
Buffy: I was thinking more that we'd hide.
Xander: Oh thank God.
Goodbye, Iowa
received 19.6% of 56 votes

Buffy: I've mentioned how much I'm going to kill you if this is a scam, right?
Spike (referring to his Army attire): Look, would I wear this if I wasn't on the up-and-up?
Willow: You do sort of look like an evil olive.
New Moon Rising
received 19.1% of 68 votes

Xander: Unless they were too busy doin' it to answer.
Giles: Doing what?
Xander: You know, for a god of acoustic rock, you're... kind of naive.
Giles: I didn't think you meant... In the midst of all that, do you really think they were keeping it up?
[Everyone looks at him.]
Giles: Oh, for a different phrasing.
Where the Wild Things Are
received 19% of 58 votes

Colonel: You think you and your friends can just keep waltzing into a government installation, brandishing weapons like... like...
Willow: It's a gourd.
Giles: Magic gourd.
Colonel: What kind of freaks are you people?
Primeval
received 19% of 79 votes

Giles: Feel up to some training?
Buffy: Sure, we could work-out after school, you know, if you're not too busy having sex with my mother!
Earshot
received 18.6% of 59 votes

Willow: It stole Giles' car.
Xander: Why would a demon steal a car?
Anya: Why would a demon steal *that* car?
A New Man
received 18.2% of 66 votes

Xander: Dinner is served. And my very own recipe.
Willow: Ooh, you pushed the button on the microwave that says "popcorn"?
Xander: Actually, I pushed "defrost", but Joyce was there in the clinch.
Restless
received 17.8% of 56 votes

Willow: She's like this cleavagey slutbomb walking around going, "Ooh, check me out. I'm wicked cool. I'm five-by-five."
Tara: Five-by-five? Five what by five what?
Willow: See, that's the thing. No one knows.
This Year's Girl
received 17.7% of 113 votes

Giles: We can't let you go until we're sure that you're impotent or-
Spike: Hey!
Giles: Sorry, poor choice of words. Until we know that you're...
Buffy: Flaccid?
Spike: You are one step away, missy!
Buffy: Giles, help! He's gonna scold me.
Something Blue
received 17.5% of 63 votes

Spike: Grrrr!
Anya: Oh, now, come on! You're not even bumpy anymore!
Spike (feeling his forehead): Oh. I was just a minute ago. Hang on. Get me mad again.
Where the Wild Things Are
received 17.2% of 58 votes

Cordelia: What gives you the right to suck face with your demon lover again?
Buffy: It was an accident!
Xander: What, you just tripped and fell on his lips?
Revelations
received 17% of 88 votes

Buffy (after bumping into Riley): I'm so sorry.
Riley: That's okay, you know, but most people go around. I'm not saying you can't go through me, it's just that the other is much quicker.
Buffy: In my defense you do take up a lot of space.
Beer Bad
received 16.9% of 89 votes

Buffy: By day you pretend to be Riley Finn, corn-fed Iowa boy. Ever been to Iowa, Riley? God, if that's even your name.
Riley: It is, born and raised. And hey! Bulletin: I'm not the only one who's been a little less than honest here.
Buffy: I thought a professional demon chaser like yourself would have figured it out by now. I'm the Slayer. Slay-er. Chosen One. "She who hangs out a lot in cemeteries"?
[Riley still doesn't know what she's talking about.]
Buffy: You're kidding. Ask around. Look it up: Slayer comma the.
Doomed
received 16.7% of 60 votes

Willow: No, it's fine. I'm 'Old Reliable'.
Xander: She just means, you know, the geyser. You're like a geyser of fun that goes off at regular intervals.
Willow: That's Old Faithful.
Xander: Isn't that the dog that, that the guy had to shoot...
Willow: That's Old Yeller.
Buffy: Xander, I beg you not to help me.
Dopplegangland
received 16.6% of 54 votes

Anya: "I wish there weren't any shrimp," you would say to yourself.
Buffy: Stop you're saying it wrong! I think that Jonathan may be doing something so that he's manipulating the world and we're all like his pawns."
Anya: Or prawns.
Superstar
received 16.6% of 96 votes

Buffy: What is this?
Willow: A doodle. I do doodle. You too. You do doodle, too.
Gingerbread
received 16.5% of 79 votes

Frat Guy #1: If we cannot scare the young women, they will not fall into our arms. We'll have womanless arms. Halloween's not about thrills, chills, and funny costumes. It's about getting laid.
Frat Guy #2: Is there any holiday that's not about getting laid?
Frat Guy #1: Arbor Day.
Fear, Itself
received 16.2% of 105 votes

Anya: After everything you've been through with Angel. You know you really should get yourself a boring boyfriend. Like Xander. You can't have Xander.
Buffy: That was the idea. Riley was supposed to be Mr. Joe Guy. We were gonna do dumb things like hold hands through the daisies going 'tra la la.'
Willow: Poor Buffy. Your life resists all things average.
Goodbye, Iowa
received 16.1% of 56 votes

Willow: And as my best friend you need to stop thinking about Parker. He's no good. There are men, better men, wherein the mind is stronger than the penis.
Xander: NOTHING CAN DEFEAT THE PENIS! Too loud, very unseemly...
Beer Bad
received 15.7% of 89 votes

Buffy: Want beer. Like beer. Beer good.
Xander: Beer Bad. Bad, bad beer. What the hell am I saying? Buffy, go home and go to bed.
Beer Bad
received 15.7% of 89 votes

Buffy: The Cliff Notes version? I want a normal life. Like I had before.
Angel: Before me.
Buffy: No, Angel, it's not you. You're the one freaky thing in my freaky world that still makes sense to me. I just get messed sometimes. I wish we could be regular kids.
Angel: Yeah. I'll never be a kid.
Buffy: Okay, then a regular kid and her cradle robbing, creature-of-the-night boyfriend.
What's My Line, Part 1
received 15.6% of 77 votes

Xander: I think we did great. We knocked them dead...which they already were.
Willow: We knocked them deader.
Superstar
received 15.6% of 96 votes

Buffy: Why is he even here? It's not like he can fight.
Willow: If we leave him alone, he'll stake himself.
Buffy: And that's bad because...?
Doomed
received 15.3% of 72 votes

Buffy: Willow, you're alive?
Willow: Aren't I usually?
Dopplegangland
received 15.2% of 59 votes

Xander: Wish the Buff could've made it. This three-hand poker is not quite the game.
Willow: Guess she's out with Riley. You know how it is with a spanking new boyfriend.
Anya: Yes, we've enjoyed spanking.
The I in Team
received 15.2% of 66 votes

Xander: Spike's working for Adam?!? After all we've done-- Nah, I can't even act surprised.
Primeval
received 15.2% of 79 votes

Willow: Nervous?
Xander: No way. I'm full of that good old kamikaze spirit.
Giles: Xander, just because this is never going to work, there's no need to be negative.
Primeval
received 15.2% of 79 votes

Anya: This isn't a relationship: you don't need me. All you care about is lots of orgasms.
Xander: Okay, remember how we talked about private conversations and how they're less private when they're in front of my friends?
Spike: Oh, we're not your friends. Go on.
Hush
received 15% of 60 votes

Giles: It was an earthquake, Buffy. A not uncommon occurrence in southern California. No reason to think it was anything more.
Buffy: Oh, I so have a reason. A darn good reason. The last time we had an earthquake, I died.
Giles: Yes, I know that - and therefore I completely understand your anxiety.
Buffy: Oh, good. Because I'd hate for my little untimely-horrible-death concern to be ambiguous.
Doomed
received 15% of 60 votes

Xander: Beautiful girl with... no other thought but to please you... willing to do anything...Too many girls. I miss Oz. He'd get it. He wouldn't say anything, but...he'd get it.
I Was Made to Love You
received 14.7% of 68 votes

Wesley: You can't turn your back on the Council.
Buffy: They're in England. I don't think they can tell which way my back is facing.
Graduation Day, Part 1
received 14.7% of 109 votes

Giles: You mean life?
Buffy: Yeah. Does it get easy?
Giles: What do you want me to say?
Buffy: Lie to me.
Giles: Yes, it's terribly simple. The good guys are always stalwart and true, the bad guys are easily distinguished by their pointy horns or black hats, and, uh, we always defeat them and save the day. No one ever dies, and everybody lives happily ever after.
Buffy: Liar.
received 14.6% of 123 votes

Riley (about Xander and Anya): Quite the couple, aren't they?
Buffy: They get into a fistfight, I got fifty on Anya.
Superstar
received 14.6% of 96 votes

Adam: I didn't send for you, Spike.
Spike: Yeah, well...I'm not much the being-sent-for type. I'm much more the "I did my part, now get this chip out of my head" kind of guy.
Primeval
received 14.5% of 76 votes

Harmony: So, Slayer. At last we meet.
Buffy: We've met, Harmony, you half-wit.
Real Me
received 14.5% of 124 votes

Buffy: So lemme get this straight. You're... "Dracula." The guy, the count.
Dracula: I am.
Buffy: And you're sure this isn't a fan boy thing? Cause I've fought more than a couple pimply overweight vamps that called themselves Lestat.
Buffy Vs. Dracula
received 14.4% of 132 votes

>Giles: Toth.
Riley: What?
Buffy: He called you a toth. It's a British expression. It means, like, moron?
Giles: No. Toth is the name of the demon.
The Replacement
received 14.4% of 28 votes

Mr. Whitmore: S-E-X. Sex. The sex drive in the human animal is intense. How many of us have lost countless productive hours plagued by unwanted sexual thoughts and feelings?
Xander: Yes! Mm-hm.
Mr. Whitmore: That was a rhetorical question, Mr. Harris, not a poll.
Bad Eggs
received 14.3% of 77 votes

Tara: The Slayer does not walk in this world.
Buffy: I walk, I talk, I shop, I sneeze. I'm gonna be a fireman when the flood rolls back.
Restless
received 14.3% of 56 votes

Buffy: Suck up.
Riley: What? It's a nice outfit. Besides, "I'm here to violate your firstborn" never goes over with parents. I'm not sure why.
Real Me
received 13.7% of 124 votes

Giles: Cordelia, it's me! It's me!
Cordelia: How do we know it's really you and not zombie Giles?
Giles: Cordelia, do stop being tiresome.
Cordelia: It's him.
Dead Man's Party
received 13.6% of 88 votes

Giles: Demons after money. Whatever happened to the still-beating heart of a virgin? No one has any standards anymore.
Enemies
received 13.6% of 59 votes

Jonathan: What are you doing here?
Spike: I live here. I wasn't exactly pining for a noisy visit from Wonder Jonathan and his fluffy battle kittens.
Buffy: Yeah? You think that one up with all the time you spend not being able to bite people?
Superstar
received 13.5% of 96 votes

Parker: I'm not doing the deep "get sympathy" routine. I mean, don't you just hate guys who are all, "I'm dark and brooding, so give me love."
Buffy: I don't think I've ever met that type...
The Harsh Light of Day
received 13.3% of 105 votes

Willow: I can't believe you've never been here. The Bronze is the coolest place in Sunnydale. Of course, there's not a lot of competition. I think the vending machine at Bergen's came in second.
Who Are You?
received 13.3% of 113 votes

Angel: Truth is, I thought you'd be taller, or bigger muscles and all that. You're pretty spry, though.
Buffy: What do you want?
Angel: The same thing you do.
Buffy: Okay. What do I want?
Angel: To kill them. To kill them all.
Buffy: Sorry, that's incorrect. But you do get this lovely watch and a year's supply of Turtle Wax. What I want is to be left alone!
Welcome to the Hellmouth
received 13.2% of 68 votes

Buffy: Us talking about *you*? How about you telling Riley every last detail of my life with Angel?
Willow: And besides, when is there any "us two?" You two are the two who are the two. I'm the other one.
The Yoko Factor
received 13.2% of 76 votes

Drusilla: I'm naming all the stars.
Spike: You can't see the stars, love. That's the ceiling. Also, it's day.
Innocence
received 13% of 77 votes

Riley: What can you tell me about Dracula?
Spike: Dracula? Poncy bugger owes me eleven pounds, for one thing.
Buffy Vs. Dracula
received 12.9% of 124 votes

Xander: So what are our options?
Willow: Well, I figure either... I refuse to do the spell and he kills us, or I do the spell and he kills us.
Xander: Give me a third option.
Willow: He's so drunk he forgets about us, and we starve to death. That's sort of the best one.
Lovers Walk
received 12.6% of 79 votes

Spike: Oww! Watch it. That hurts.
Giles: It doesn't appear to be a bullet. It's too deeply embedded to be a tranquilizer dart.
Spike: Also, not tranquil.
The I in Team
received 12.5% of 56 votes

Giles: Come on, put your back into it. A Watcher scoffs at gravity.
Restless
received 12.5% of 56 votes

Vamp Girl: Does this sweater make me look fat?
Sunday: No. The fact that you're fat makes you look fat. That sweater just makes you look... purple.
The Freshman
received 12.4% of 105 votes

Buffy: They say how he's gonna kill me? Do you think it'll hurt? Don't touch me! Were you even gonna tell me?
Giles: I was hoping that I wouldn't have to. That there was... some way around it. I...
Buffy: I've got a way around it. I quit!
Angel: It's not that simple.
Buffy: I'm making it that simple! I quit! I resign, I-I'm fired, you can find someone else to stop the Master from taking over!
Giles: I'm not sure that anyone else can. All the... the signs indicate...
Buffy: The signs? READ ME THE SIGNS! TELL ME MY FORTUNE!
Prophecy Girl
received 12.2% of 90 votes

Spike: Hey! Wipe your feet when you enter a person's home.
Giles: Oh, yes. Careless of me. Tracking mud all over your, uh... mud.
The I in Team
received 12.1% of 66 votes

Anya: What good are weapons against disembodied spirits, Xander? They have no ass to kick.
Where the Wild Things Are
received 12.1% of 58 votes

Anya: What a day. Gimme a beer.
Bartender: I.D....I.D.
Anya: I'm eleven hundred and twenty years old! Just gimme a frickin' beer!
Bartender: I.D.
Anya: Gimme a Coke.
Dopplegangland
received 11.9% of 59 votes

Angelus: Been there, done that, and deja vu just isn't what it used to be.
Passion
received 11.8% of 68 votes

Buffy: Okay, that's enough! I see one more display of testosterone poisoning and I will personally put you both in the hospital!
The Yoko Factor
received 11.8% of 76 votes

Buffy: The girl's not playing with a full deck, Giles. She has almost no deck. She has a three.
Faith, Hope and Trick
received 11.4% of 88 votes

Joyce: I'm guessing I missed some fun?
Willow: The spirit of the first Slayer tried to kill us in our dreams.
Joyce: Oh. You want some hot chocolate?
Restless
received 11.4% of 132 votes

Buffy: Cordelia, your mouth is open and sound is coming from it. This is never good.
When She Was Bad
received 11.1% of 90 votes

Buffy: Do you remember the demon that almost got out the night I died?
Willow: Every nightmare I had that doesn't revolve around academic failure or public nudity is about that thing. In fact, once I dreamt that it attacked me while I was late for a test, and naked.
The Zeppo
received 11.1% of 54 votes

Wesley: Remember the three key words for any Slayer: preparation... preparation... preparation.
Buffy: That's one word three times.
Bad Girls
received 11.1% of 54 votes

Xander: And was there a lesson in all of this? What have we learned about beer?
Buffy: Foamy!
Xander: Good. Just so that's clear.
Beer Bad
received 11.1% of 63 votes

Giles: Remind me. Why should I help you?
Spike: Because you do that. You're the goody-good guys. You're the bloody freaking cavalry.
The I in Team
received 10.7% of 56 votes

Riley: That's hostile seventeen.
Spike: No. I'm just a friend of Xander's... Bugger it. I'm your guy.
Goodbye, Iowa
received 10.7% of 56 votes

Willow: Well look who's cranky bear in the morning!
Giles: Yes, I can't imagine why I didn't sleep well in my beach ball.
Anya: Every time you moved it made squeaky noises. It was irritating.
Giles: Really? I'm surprised you could hear it over your Wagnerian snoring.
Buffy: Ok you guys, could we not, please? Everything's screwed up enough without you two doing scenes from my parents' marriage.
Goodbye, Iowa
received 10.7% of 56 votes

Bald Man: I wear the cheese. It does not wear me.
Restless
received 10.7% of 56 votes

Giles: Oh dear lord.
Riley: Buffy, our Xander. Did he seem a little...
Buffy: He seemed kind of forceful, confident.
Willow: That's not Xander!
Giles: I said, oh dear lord.
Buffy: You always say that.
Giles: Well, it's always important.
The Replacement
received 10.7% of 28 votes

Giles: You have to help me find him. He must undo this, and then he needs a good being killed.
Spike: And I'm supposed to just help you out of the evilness of my heart?
A New Man
received 10.6% of 66 votes

Xander: I'm exhausted just looking at those two. All the splashing and jumping and running. Shouldn't relaxing involve less exertion?
Anya: Absolutely. Exertion can lead to sweatiness.
Tara: Which can cause the pain and heartbreak of stinkiness. Better to just stay put.
Willow: I think we've just put our finger on why we're the sidekicks.
Buffy Vs. Dracula
received 10.6% of 132 votes

Willow: Anyway, Professor Walsh is supposed to be great. She's like world-renowned.
Buffy: How do you get to be renowned? I mean, like, do you have to be nowned first?
Willow: Yes, first there's the painful nowning process.
The Freshman
received 10.5% of 105 votes

Giles: You took your roommate patrolling with you?
Buffy: Well, I invited the whole dorm, but she was the only one who could make it.
Living Conditions
received 10.5% of 105 votes

Xander: Where is he! Where's the creep that turned me into a spider eating man-bitch?
Buffy Vs. Dracula
received 10.5% of 124 votes

Giles: The more I study the Judge, the less I like him. His touch can literally burn the humanity out of you. A true creature of evil can survive the process. No human ever has.
Xander: What's the problem? We send Cordy to fight this guy, and we go for pizza.
Surprise
received 10.4% of 77 votes

Buffy: Nope. Why? Are you jealous?
Angel: Of Xander? Please. He's just a kid.
Buffy: Is it 'cause I danced with him?
Angel: 'Danced with' is a pretty loose term. 'Mated with' might be a little closer.
Some Assembly Required
received 10.3% of 58 votes

Willow: I don't care if it is an orgy of death, there's still such a thing as a napkin.
Superstar
received 10.3% of 58 votes

Spike: The thing about the Slayer is, she is a whiny little thing, but when it comes to the fighting, she does have a slight tendency to win.
New Moon Rising
received 10.3% of 68 votes

Spike: No tricks?
Adam: Scout's honor.
Spike: You were a Boy Scout?
Adam: Parts of me.
New Moon Rising
received 10.3% of 68 votes

Buffy: I wish that I wished you dead. I don't. I can't.
Angel: Buffy, please. Just this once... let me be strong.
Buffy: Strong is fighting! It's hard, and it's painful, and it's every day. It's what we have to do. And we can do it together. But if you're too much of a coward for that, then burn. If I can't convince you that you belong in this world, then I don't know what can.
Amends
received 10.1% of 79 votes

Buffy: Mom, dead people are talking to you. Do the math!
Gingerbread
received 10.1% of 79 votes

Willow: Hey, I eat danger for breakfast.
Xander: But, oddly enough, she panics in the face of breakfast foods.
Choices
received 10.1% of 109 votes

Anya: Men are evil. Will you go with me?
Xander: One of us is very confused, and I honestly don't know which.
The Prom
received 10.1% of 109 votes

Willow: Porter dorm is completely blacked out. So naturally they are dealing with the crisis the only way they know how. 'Aftershock Party'.
Buffy: Ah, this from the dorm that brought us the 'Somebody Sneezed' party and the 'Day That Ends in Y' party.
Doomed
received 10% of 60 votes

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Quotes Index » Buffy Quotes Poll Results » BtVS Quotes Page 2

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