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Cordelia: Lemme break this down for you, Fred. (Being Buffy) Oh, Angel. I know that I am a Slayer, and you are a Vampire, and it is impossible for us to be together, but --
Wesley: (Being Angel) But my gypsy curse, and our hot little loins, sometimes prevent us from seeing the truth. Oh Buffy --
Cordelia: Yes, Angel?
Wesley: I love you so much I almost forgot to brood.
Cordelia: And just because I sent you to hell that one time doesn't mean we can't be friends.
Wesley: Or possibly more?
Cordelia: Gasp! No! We mustn't! You'll lose your soul!
Wesley: To hell with my soul! Again! Kiss me!
Cordelia: Bite me!
Angel: How 'bout you *both* bite me?
Angel: And your hair. What color do they call that? Radioactive?
Spike: Never much cared for you, Liam. Even when we were evil.
Angel: Cared for you less.
Angel: Good. There was one thing about you...
Angel: Yeah, I never told anybody about this, but I...I liked your poems.
Spike: You like Barry Manilow!
Spike (after the lights go out): I know what this is. YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME TO HELL, PAVAYNE!
(The lights come back on.)
Spike: Oh... well, that's just something I say... when, it gets dark.
Gunn: Still not sure why blondie-ghost tagged along.
Spike: Not much choice really, is there? Can't drink, smoke, diddle my willy. Doesn't leave much to do other than watch you blokes stumble around playing Agatha Christie.
Wesley: Yeah. Remind me again how you ended up in the front seat.
Spike: Called shotgun, mate.
Wesley (looks at his shotgun): Oh. I thought we were doing a weapons check.
Spike: Hello, big guy! Need another car. Afraid this last one ended up in the drink...
Spike: Look at you.
Angel: Just turn around and walk away.
Spike: You're a--
Spike: You're a bloody puppet! You're a wee, little puppet man!
Angel (trying to use the phone at Wolfram and Hart): Um...can I get a cup of coffee or something?
Voice: You have reached ritual sacrifice. For goats, press one, or say "goats."
Faith: Angel's got a kid?
Faith: A teenage kid... born last year.
Wesley: I told you. He grew up in a hell dimension.
Faith: Right. And what? Cordelia spend her last summer as...?
Wesley: A divine being.
Faith: Uh-huh. Can I just ask... what the hell are you people doing?
Wesley: Leading complicated lives, obviously.
Angel (holding out his hand): I'm Angel. Pleasure to meet you.
Mr. Wyndam-Pryce: Do you really expect me to shake that?
Angel: I'm not real comfortable with hugging.
Butler: Do you have an appointment with Mr. Hainsley?
Spike: Let's just say he sent us an invitation.
Angel: We're-- I'm from Wolfram & Hart.
Spike: I'm his date.
Angel: Maybe not. But I'll die before I let you hurt anyone else.
Jasmine: You're already dead!
Angel: You know what I mean.
Man: This is a private club. Featured word: Private.
Angel: You don't talk to me, I'll kick your ass. Featured word: Ass.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Xander: That's my radio!
Spike: And you're what? Shocked and disappointed? I'm evil!
Buffy: What are you doing here. Five words or less.
Spike: Out. For. A. Walk... Bitch.
Gachnar: I am the dark lord of nightmares. The bringer of terror! Tremble before me. Fear me!
Willow: He... he's so cute!
Xander: Who's the little fear demon? Come on, who's the little fear demon?
Giles: Don't taunt the fear demon.
Xander: Why, can he hurt me?
Giles: No. It's just... tacky.
Buffy: I kill your kind.
Spike: And I bite yours. So how come I don't wanna bite you? And why am I fightin' other vampires? I must be a noble vampire. A good guy. On a mission of redemption. I help the hopeless. I'm a vampire with a soul.
Buffy: A vampire with a soul? Oh my god, how lame is that?
Xander (to Dracula): And where'd you get that accent? Sesame Street? Vun, two, three -- three victims. Mwa ha ha!
Buffy: I've been looking for you.
Faith: I've been standing still for eight months, B. How hard you look?
Cordelia: I personally don't think it's possible to come up with a crazier plan.
Oz: We attack the Mayor with hummus.
Cordelia: I stand corrected.
Oz: Just keeping things in perspective.
Angel: This isn't some fairy tale. When I kiss you, you don't wake up from a deep sleep and live happily ever after.
Buffy: No. When you kiss me I wanna die.
Giles: How did you get in?
Spike: The door was unlocked. You might want to watch that, Rupert. Someone dangerous could get in.
Buffy: Or someone formerly dangerous and currently annoying.
Spike: This is the crack team that foils my every plan? I am *deeply* shamed.