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Brother Dearest 4: The Millennium

By Jyll & Juls

Summary: The MacLeans make plans for the new year.
Part of The Brother Dearest Series
Plot: Oh come on! The title says it all!
Spoilers: Not a one. This is our own world, where all the crap that's been happening so far this year doesn't exist.
Rating: Duh! R! Although so far we've had no screwage.
Disclaimer: Its late, we know. Its way past New Year's Eve, we know. But we also don't really care. And with that said, Juls and I don't own shit. With the exception of the characters we made up/plagurized off of our friends.
Thing I Gotta Say: Everyone keeps asking us "Who are Pamela and Jessica and Jyll?". Pamela is the founder of An Immortal Love, the series and site that is major prozac to all of us B/A shippers out there. Jessica is Jessica Boland, the fabulous fic writer and therapist of one of the Brother Dearest authors *g*. And omigod! How can you *not* know who Jyll is? I thought it was obvious!
Thanks: To Pamela, Jessica, the magnificent Juls, Serena, and Gay Pride 2000, of which Riley Finn is the president. --Jyll


"So, I was hoping we could all get together for the millennium this year," Joyce said on her end of the telephone conversation. Buffy sighed on the other end. She had wanted to spend the change of the millennium with herself, Angelus, and chains.

"You do know the millennium doesn't officially start until 2001 mother, right?" Buffy pleaded, trying to get out of a visit. She had just seen everyone for Thanksgiving. That was enough to last her at least until the twins were 30.

"Come on. It'll be fun, like old times," Joyce insisted.

"Fine," Buffy gave in, "on one condition. That Pam, Jess, and Jyll can come."

"All right," Joyce said reluctantly. "I'll set up everything and give you a call with the arrangements."

"Ta Ta," Buffy said hanging up the extension. "God, I'd just like to strangle her!"

"We can take care of that," Jessica said entering the room with Pamela and Jyll at her heels.

"Would you?" Buffy said jokingly.

"Of course, what are friends for?" replied Jyll, plopping down on one of the overstuffed leather chairs in Buffy's office.

"I have some good and some bad news," Buffy said, her back to them looking out the windows. "My mother insisted that I do New Years with her this year and she's in the process of making plans as we speak. That's the bad news. The good is that I talked her into making you three welcome. So you can wreck hazards on people's lives to bring in the New Year. That will keep you entertained; I'll bring Spike to help keep Angelus under control and Dru to keep me anchored to reality. So all in all, it'll be one big party."

"Will Angel be there?" asked Jessica, a little too eagerly.

"Yes, he will. But a warning to you, he's mine. I get to have him."

"Who's Angel?" Jyll asked.

"Jyll, we told you five minutes ago. Angelus' sorry-ass twin? Ring any bells?"

"So right you are love," Spike said carrying both Shawn and Rory in his arms, returning them from the baby-sitting service he and Dru provided on occasion. "Soul boy, well he's a sorry sight. Sometimes I want to put him out of his misery."

"That's my job Spike," Buffy said taking Shawn from his Uncle Spike.

"So what are you four plotting? Another murder?"

"Wouldn't you like to know!" said Jessica ruefully, leaning forward.

"Dude, Buff's just Mama wants to hook up for New Years."

"Oh joy, the Slayer's mum. What a basket-case," Spike said in disgust, interrupted when he was pinned to the wall by a very brassed off ex-slayer.

"How many times do I have to tell you Spike, I'm not the f*king Slayer. I did that gig a while ago. Its over. Now back to the subject at hand. What do we propose to do to wreak havoc and mind bending hell on the 'Scooby Gang'...I can't believe they still call themselves that, ugh."

"So...when's the 'Scooby Gang' coming down?" Jyll asked.

Buffy grunted. "Don't say that! Its so lame!"

"It is a bit catchy love," Spike said, but he shut up when Buffy glared at him. "So, what's happening again?"


Buffy straightened her skirt for the millionth time. Jessica, Jyll, Pamela, and Drusilla were on the couch. Spike was bringing the boys to a neighbor. Angelus was getting dressed. The doorbell rang and Galen answered the door. He escorted the group into the living room. Joyce, Willow, Oz, Cordelia, Xander, and Giles. The four women stood to greet them. Joyce had insisted on visiting but Buffy negotiated that she could pick the club. So they were headed to the Smart Bar for Nocturna. Nocturna was a Goth night for those who wanted to let their dark side out. It was usually a Tuesday night thing but the club was making an exception for New Years. Buffy and Angelus were regulars. It was the only place they could really be themselves. The one thing this night promised was to get her friends dressed in ways they never would again. For Cordelia, this included the dress Pamela wore for Christmas. It was a replica of Morticia's. Willow, tight black leather pants and a red leather bodice that laced up the back. Jyll had seen her and snickered, mumbling something about Faith to Jessica, who rolled her eyes and grinned. For Joyce something not too scary. A long black skirt, slit to mid-thigh, fishnets, and a tight silver tank. The men were robed in shades of black, silver, and red.


Smart Bar, Chicago. 11:00pm, New Years Eve

"What the hell do you mean you don't have Handi-Snacks? F*k you guys!" Pamela grunted and flopped dejectedly down unto a bar stool. No Handi-Snacks! It was insane! Here she was, out on New Year's Eve, Jessica and Jyll had ditched her, Buffy was off with Drusilla and Angel and her gay-ass Sunnydale friends, no one knew where Angelus and Spike had gone, and to top it all off, the bar didn't even have Handi-Snacks!

However, her pissed off thoughts were interrupted as soon as she saw Him. Tall, handsome, muscular build, Him, sitting two seats down from her at the bar. Stealthily Pamela stood up. After adjusting her black tube top and wiping away an imaginary spot on her black leather pants, she slowly made her way over to him.

"Hey," she said brightly, perching on the bar next to him. Her dark hair cascading down her back.

He looked up at her from his gingerale. Whoa. Who was this chick? "Umm...hi," he responded uneasily.

Hi? Hi? What kind of shit said hi? Why didn't he throw her against the bar and kiss her passionately? Why did he say hi? But instead she grinned. "I'm Pamela. And you would be...?"

He stuck out his hand. "Riley. Riley Finn. Nice to meet you." Awkwardly, Pamela took his hand and shook it.

Wow. She has nice hands. Thought Riley. Nice hands are *such* a turn on! Riley took some Cheez-wiz off of the platter of crackers and made her a cracker-and-cheez-wiz thingy. Pamela grinned happily.

"Cheese! I love cheese! Especially that artificial shit that rots your intestine!" she exclaimed, happily accepting the cracker.

"It rots your intestine?" Riley asked, glancing down at the little pile of cheez-wiz and crackers he had made. The pile that was quickly disapearing.

Pamela shrugged. "According to Jyll's Mama it does."

Riley looked at her quizzically. "Who's Jyll?"

"She's my friend. Granted, she's nuttier than a bat out of hell, but she's okay. Only thing is, she tends to listen to whatever her Mama, as she puts it, says."

"Oh. Riley looked up at her. She looked so pretty sitting there. And it was New Years. What the hell.

They went into the storage closet and didn't return to the bar for several hours.


Smart Bar, Chicago, 11:17pm, New Years Eve

"F*k! Do they have to play this damned song every year?" asked an annoyed Angelus to nobody in particular. Spike had been there a minute ago, but he was off in the corner, making out with Jyll. He did a quick scan of the area he was in with his eyes. Not more than five feet away from him was Joyce. Goody.

Quietly, he made his way over to her. She had left the Ladies' Room and was probably heading back to the rest of the gang to annoy his wife to no end so that Buffy would be up half the night bitching and so that he wouldn't laid. And nobody messed with Angelus' sex life and lived to do it again.

He considered it for a moment, then decided what the hell. Angelus took out his cell phone and dialed Jessica.


"Anything up yet?"


"Good. I'm over by the exit. Come over here now."

Jessica hung up the phone, but did as Angelus asked. Well, did as Angelus told her to. He hadn't left much room for argument.

She made her way over to the exit and saw Angelus, leaning against the wall and scowling. Typical.

"What?" she asked, hand on her hip, frown on her face.

"Joyce. Get rid of her."

"Hell no! I hate the bitch as much as you do, but she's Buffy's mother! Buffy would kill me!"

"I don't think she'll mind."

"Never in a million years! I wouldn't do it if you tortured me in the fiery pits of hell!"

"$500 bucks if you do the job."


Jessica scanned around for Joyce. She spotted her buying drinks at the bar. Quietly, Jessica tiptoed over to where Joyce was. How was she going to do this?

Inspiration hit.

Huddled in a corner was a woman. An ugly woman, Jessica noted, but a woman in a police uniform nonetheless.

"Officer?" asked Jessica, approaching the woman.

The woman turned to face her. "Yes?"

"That woman. She's a drug dealer. Sells crack to minors," said Jessica pointing to Joyce.

The officer turned, thanked Jessica, and walked over to Joyce. Jessica smiled in satisfactory when the police woman escorted Joyce out the door.

Spike joined them and he and Angelus watched happily as Joyce was led outside. It would be temporary but they'd find a permanent way of dealing with her later. Or maybe not.

Jessica followed Joyce out and didn't see a police car. She heard Joyce scream as the officer's face morphed in to vamp mode. Her screams ceased as she died. That's what she got for going to a Goth club and messing with Angelus' sex life.

After that they partied well into the early hours of the morning.

The End

I would like to wrap this up with a big wow! No shit happened on Midnight of December 31st!!! I was shocked...and kinda disappointed. Until next time.

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