Angel's Secrets

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Though Lovers Be Lost

By Amy Mina

Page 1 of 7
Summary: The Fems have another adventure, but this time the problems are in their own backyard. They, as well as their friends, have to overcome bitterness and broken trust to defeat Angelus and work together.
Part of The Fems Series
Disclaimer: All of the characters like Buffy, Giles, Angel, etc. belong to Joss Whedon and the Mutant Enemy Company. Characters that were seen in Extra Help Needed still belong to themselves.
Author's Notes: *Note to reader*: This title wasn't my creation. It took three people to help me with it, but it was all Chrystal's idea. It comes from the poem, "And Death Shall Have No Dominion" by Dylan Thomas: "though lovers be lost love shall not; And death shall have no dominion." I thought this was wonderful, and she is a genius for thinking this up.
Dedication: This has to go out to my beta readers Becca and Jennifer. Thanks a bunch, I couldn't do it without you.


Part 1

Mr. Kraus could feel his hand shaking as he let the letter drop to the floor. This was not the best way to start a Monday morning as a high school teacher. He slowly picked up the letter and skimmed it to make sure that he didn't mistake what was actually on the page the first time. No, he had been right. Reading it slowly, he tried to take in the news.

Fellow Mentor:

I hate to be the one to tell this to you, but there has been a disaster. Angel has reverted to his demon counterpart, Angelus. Since changing, he is now going after the people that made him feel most human. He has attacked Buffy and her friends on numerous occasions. Not to long after he changed, it was revealed to us that Miss Calendar was a member of the gypsy clan, the Romani, which returned Angel's soul to him. A short while ago, Angel killed her. I am telling you all of this mainly to warn you. I know Amy was very close to Angel, and I am suspicious that he may come after her eventually. You may want to step up the training of your proteges and be prepared for anything. Please contact me if you need anything.

Rupert Giles

Mr. Kraus was so absorbed in the letter; he didn't notice when the second period bell rang. Amy entered the classroom and threw her bookbag on her seat in the back row. She headed up to the front of the classroom to he what chorus music Mr. Kraus had lined up for them to practice that day. Angela entered a minute later and Amy followed her to the back of the room and talked, as was their custom. Amy turned to look at him staring at this letter, the strangest look on his face.

"Angela, is Mr. Kraus okay?" asked Amy. Angela looked at him and gave Amy a confused look.

"I don't know. There must be something awfully interesting in that letter."

"Hey, Mr. Kraus," called out one of the other students, Brandy, as she was running over. In her hand was the latest picture of the Backstreet Boys. Usually, he didn't even look at what she was holding and told her that if it had anything to do with the Backstreet Boys, he didn't want to see it. Brandy stopped at the corner of his desk, and held up the picture. "Look what I have."

Amy and Angela watched to see what his reaction would be, and they were both surprised when he didn't even look up. Brandy was surprised as well and decided that whatever was in that letter was what was bothering him. She turned to lean over his shoulder and read it. Amy ignored her and went back to talking to Angela

"Angel? Who's Angel?" questioned Brandy.

That got Amy's attention very fast, but also brought Mr. Kraus out of his concentration. He turned to look at Amy and found her staring at him. He put the letter down and glared at Brandy.

"Brandy, that really wasn't any of your business. Please, go sit down."

Brandy left to go to her seat, and Mr. Kraus went to the front of the room. "Everybody up. Time to start warm ups." As the chorus class jumped up to stretch, he went to the back of the room to talk to Amy and Angela. "Do you two have any free time today?" he asked.

"Eighth period," said Angela.

"Won't work, I have a class. How about before lunch?"

"I can be here," said Amy, "but Angie has a class."

"Okay, I need to talk to you. Angela, come after school."


He went back to teaching the class, but Angela found it hard to concentrate on the music they were singing. She needed to know what was in that letter.

When class was finally over, she went straight over to his desk. Making sure that Amy was gone, she questioned him.

"Mr. Kraus, what was in that letter?"

He had been staring at his desk and continued to do so while he answered her. "Angel has turned back to the bad side."

It took a minute for the realization to sink into Angela's subconscious. "What?"

"Angel is no longer an alley." He finally looked at and saw her mouth hanging open. "Angela?"

"What happened?" she questioned.

"The letter doesn't go into details, but I plan to call Giles and get some more information later today. He believes that Angelus may come after Amy, and so he decided to warn us."

"Why after Amy?"

"Angelus is striking out at everyone who was close to Angel. He is hurting Buffy and her friends. Giles tells me that he already killed Miss Calendar. There is always a chance that he could come here."

"What should we do?" questioned Angela. "When you tell her she is going to be crushed."

"That's why I didn't want to tell her with any of the other students around."

"What if he does show up?" asked Angela. "Do you know what could happen to her? If he is truly evil, he could destroy her."

"I know. Giles suggested that I step up the training quickly, especially for Amy."

"Is there any way to restore his soul, to make him the way that he used to be?"

"I'll ask Giles when I call him."

"Okay. Do you want me to tell Beth?"

"I would appreciate it."

"Okay. I guess I'll see you after school." Angela walked out of the classroom and headed for math, with a heavy heart. She felt for Amy, she really did. By the time she arrived at math, she could feel the tears falling freely.


"Alicia!" called Amy on the way to lunch. "How was your trip to Mexico?" she asked, stopping at the other girl's locker.

"Oh, it was wonderful. You wouldn't believe everything I saw."

"Can you tell me on the way down to lunch?"

"Sure. Do you need to stop at your locker?"

"Yeah, that would be a good idea. Oh, wait," she said, slapping her hand against her forehead. "I need to talk to Mr. Kraus for a few minutes. You wouldn't mind waiting for me, would you."

"No, of course not."

"Thanks," said Amy, as they stopped outside Mr. Kraus' room. Alicia waited out in the hallway as Amy went to talk to him. "Hey, Mr. Kraus!" she called out.

He appeared from behind a cabinet door. "Oh, hello Amy," he said quietly.

"For some reason," said Amy, "I get the feeling that this isn't a good news thing."

"No, not really. I fact, I have very little good news to give you."


"Okay, but you might want to sit down." Amy did as she was told and sat on the edge of the piano bench. "Okay...Amy, first off I want to you to know that I don't want to tell you this. It is a matter of duty."

"Sure," she replied, slowly and confused.

"Miss Calendar is dead."

"What? What happened? How did she die?"

"She was murdered-"

"By who?"

He paused a moment before answering. "Angelus."

When he finally got that out, you could've heard a pin drop in the room. Amy began shaking her head back and forth quickly, while standing up. "No," she whispered at first. "No, you're lying."

"I'm sorry Amy," he said, moving forward.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!!!" she screamed at him. He backed off immediately, not sure what the girl would do if she totally lost it.


Alicia quietly stood out in the hallway, wondering what was taking Amy so long. She pulled out a note that another friend had written to her, and began to read.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!!" Alicia heard come from the room. She did the first thing she thought of and ran into the room. She was surprised at the sight that she found. Amy was standing next to the piano, obviously upset or enraged about something. Mr. Kraus was standing at least ten feet away, looking distressed about Amy's reaction.

"How dare you," growled Amy. "Don't even take Angel's name through the mud like this!" Angel??? thought Alicia.

"Amy, I didn't want to tell you this-"

"That's a bunch of crap," replied to teen. "You never liked Angel, and now you are using every chance possible to make him look bad. You hate him-- you've always hated him."

"You know that's not true, Amy," replied the teacher to the allegations. "I didn't care for him like my best friend, but after our beginning, the last thing I felt toward him was hate."

Alicia was very confused by this point. She wanted to know what was going on, but afraid to interrupt, she stayed inside the doorway.

"Yeah right you didn't hate him," said Amy. "If you had any kind of mutual feeling toward him, why did you try to kill him?"

Alicia almost fell with shock. What is she talking about? Mr. Kraus tried to kill someone? That's ridiculous!!

"Amy, that's not fair!! You know I wouldn't lie to you about something like this. If I had it my way, I wouldn't even tell you. The only reason I am, is that he may come after you next Amy. This time if he meets up with you, he won't want to talk--he'll want to kill you."

Amy looked him straight in the eye, and cross her arms. "Then count me out of the gang. I am no longer an unofficial slayerette." She turned on her heels to leave the room, brushing past Alicia without even noticing that she was there. Alicia turned to look at Mr. Kraus in surprise. He was still staring at the doorway that Amy had just walked out of. She could see the hurt and pain clearly defined in his eyes.

"Mr. Kraus?" she questioned.

"I don't believe it, Alicia. She just left--turned her back on everything and left, all for a vampire." His look was that of utter defeat, and Alicia felt very sorry for him. "Now there is no hope for her if Angelus decides to come after her." He finally turned to look at her. "You have no idea what is going on, do you?" he asked.

Alicia shook her head no and he sat down at the desk. "It's probably better that way. Why don't you go to lunch."

Alicia looked at her teacher, concern showing in her eyes. "Are you going to be okay?"

"Yeah, I just need to give it some time."

She left and head toward the cafeteria, hoping to stop Amy on the way to make sure that she was okay. Unfortunately, Amy wasn't anywhere to be found, and Alicia was becoming increasingly concerned about the danger that her friend was in.


"Hello?" said Giles, into the telephone.

"Giles?" came the voice from the other end. "This is Mr. Kraus."

"Ah, then I assume you received my letter?"

"Yes I did. I told Amy a few minutes ago."

"What happened?" Giles questioned. He could tell by the defeat in the younger man's voice that it had not gone well.

"She quit. She accused me of being a liar, and then she ran out of the room, saying that she quit."

"Oh, dear, that's not good."

"No, and I was wondering if you could give me some help on this end."

Giles thought back a moment to the time that the Codex had revealed Buffy's fate at the hands of the master. How she had accused him for not telling her earlier, and then quitting. Only, this was different. Amy was just asking for trouble if she didn't try to train harder and learn more.

"There isn't much I can say to you," said Giles. "Her sense of duty will probably bring her back to you and the other fems before anything you can say will help."

"So, all I can do is wait?"

"If you try and push it, there is less of a chance of Amy ever returning to the group."

"This isn't going well."

"It never does," said Giles. "Something always goes wrong."

"Is there anyway to restore his soul?" asked Mr. Kraus.

"We haven't been able to find anything. I think Jenny was working on it before she died, but because we weren't on the best of terms, I don't know much more than that."

"I guess I'll call you later, then," said Mr. Kraus.

"Yes, let me know if you need anything. Good luck."

The dial tone came on in Giles' ear. "He's going to need it."


"How'd it go?" questioned Angela, as she and Beth entered the chorus room, followed by Brad and Pete, two of the guys who knew about their powers and the slayer.

"Not well," said Mr. Kraus.

"It figures," said Beth. "Amy never showed up the study hall eighth period, and skipped gym on the sidelines. She said that she felt to sick to play."

"We told Pete and Brad what is going on, just incase they get the pleasure of meeting up with him," said Angela.

"That was a good idea, how about Bob?"

"He's absent today."

"Okay," said Pete, "I think it is time that we are instructed in a little vampire fighting, just in case we meet up with this homicidal vampire."

Mr. Kraus had to smile at Pete. "Okay, you and Brad come over here. Angela and Beth, I really don't need to see you today. It's been a long day, so why don't you two go home and do homework or something."

"Before we go," said Angela, "did Giles say if there is any chance to restoring Angel's soul?"

"Not that he knows of," said Mr. Kraus.

"See ya tomorrow," said Beth. She and Angela left, heading to the library to start their homework.


Bob had know from the moment that he had first seen Angel fighting along side the slayer in the park, that something bad was going to happen. Call it premonition, or whatever else you wanted, but he knew. He had been around for quite a while. Of course, the fems didn't know that, they sure didn't know that he had been around almost as long as Angel. The advantage to being immortal was that he could walk in daylight and eat whatever he wanted. He also kept his soul. Something that Angel now desperately needed. A shutter ran through him as he thought about the call from Pete.

"Bob, Angel is a vampire! Did you know that?"

"Of course not," said Bob, lying through his teeth. He had know from the first moment he saw Angel, who and what he was.

"Well, it turns out that he has "lost" his soul and is now apt to kill any human that he comes in contact with."

Bob felt like the air had been punched out of him. "Really?" he managed to squeak out.

"Yeah, Brad and I suggested to Mr. Kraus that we get some kind of vampire defense training just in case this vampire decided to show up. He agreed. Maybe you'll want to join us."

"Maybe. Pete, I hate to cut this short, but I need to run, bye!"

As soon as Bob had hung up the telephone, he had gone to the chest in his room and started to dig through it. Inside were pictures of his real family, the ones that had died over two hundred years ago. They were painting that had somehow survived the wars and the tragedies over the year. Bob picked up the painting of his youngest sister, Elsa. She had been so in love with his best friend, so innocent, and her love had gotten her killed. His eyes hardened. He needed to find his book. He had at least two dozen books, all containing information and spells that you would most likely see in the office of Giles, or even Mr. Kraus, not a teenager. But then again, he wasn't the average teen. Slipping again into thoughts of the past, he began to daydream.

Angel had been his best friend. He remembered when they were younger, after all of the work of the peasants boys were done for the day, the two close friends would run off to the creek and often go swimming during the summer. Bob had been two years younger then Angel, but it didn't matter to either of them. They did everything together, fish when they were younger, hunt when they got older, and in their late teens, they both courted the girls together.

There was only one thing that he had never told Angel. He was immortal. He had known it for a long time, and no one knew. It had always been there in the back of his mind that he was immortal, he assumed that all immortals automatically knew.

He remembered the first taste of bitterness that he received when Angel began turning into the man that every girl swooned over, and Bob remained tall and thin. A few more years, and I might have looked as good as Angel, he thought to himself. Elsa had fallen hard for Angel, and Angel treated her like the perfect gentleman. They courted for awhile, and Elsa had even discussed wedding plans with her older brother.

One day, Angel brought a "cousin" of his that was visiting for awhile. She was one of the prettiest things that Bob had ever seen. Tall, blonde hair, beautiful figure, her looks were perfect. He remembered everything so vividly. After dinner had been served and Bob's mother asked if they wanted dessert, Angelus had gone over to his sister, moved the hair away from her neck, and clamped down like he was biting into a drum stick. He close his eyes as a shutter ripped through him. If only years would erase the memories. Bob had been Darla's dessert. He remembered thinking that this was it, and wondering what had happened to his friend.

After a few hours of being dead, Bob had woken up a few hours later at being his life as an immortal, always stuck at the age of nineteen. He groggily had gotten up, to discover his family all slaughtered at the hand of his best friend. He packed everything important into a chest, and threw it in the back of a wagon. After taking all of the money he could find, he torched the house, trying to bury the bad memories of his family's demise. Determined to discover what had changed his friend to the monster that he was, Bob began his research that he would continue for many years.

Finally snapping out of his daydreaming, Bob shook his head back and forth. Bob knew there was a way to return Angel's soul in here, he had read it before. The question was could he put aside the past for a second time, to do it?

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