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 Angel's Secrets

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Love is Forever

By Marj
angelus03(at)yahoo.com

Page 1 of 3
Summary: After "Innocence," Buffy experiences a change.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything from the Buffyverse, the only thing I own is my imagination. :)
Feedback: send it right to angelus03(at)yahoo.com
Author's Notes: This is a "what if" story, "what if" Buffy became a vampire? And just so you know, I know that after a vamp makes a vamp, it takes awhile before it rises again, but this is my own little way of making a vampire.

This picks up right after Innocence (And do not think that I have not watched all the other episodes after it!), except Angel does not run out side suddenly dressed. So Angel and Buffy have just had sex. STOP! Then my story starts.

If you really need to go watch Innocence to get it, go ahead, I will wait. And oh yes, uh, the Judge suddenly disappeared from the face of the earth, 'cause I said so! (If you really want an explanation of where the Judge went, Spike finally realized that if he destroyed the world, he would have no food, so he killed the Judge, and Spike is out of the chair. Tada! All better, but I do not think that will be fitted into my story, and by the way, so you do not become confused, Spike & Drusilla already moved into the "funky looking mansion on Crocker street." Oh yeah, two more things, everybody already knows that Xander and Cordelia are dating, and Oz already turned into a werewolf.)

I apologize for such a long authors note:) * sheepish grin *

.

Part One

Angel looked over at Buffy sleeping. Her chest rising and falling gracefully. He remembered when she asked him that faithful night they ran into the three if he snored. In the morning, he hadn't had the heart to tell her she did. Not loudly though, a soft, lulling snore. It was what helped him fall asleep that night.

He got up carefully, not wanting to wake her up, and pulled on his boxers. He stretched a little. It wasn't that easy for a vampire to fall asleep at this time. He walked over to the couch, and plopped down on it. He had a very bad feeling. Even the air around him had that feeling. He looked over at her. Wishing he knew what was going to go wrong. He hated when he had bad feelings, they always came true.

He went back over to the bed, and laided down next to her. He carefully pulled her hair back out of her face, and watched as she stirred slightly. He took his hand back quickly, not wanting to wake her.

He finally let sleep claim him, wrapping his arms around her lightly. He fell asleep with her body in his arms, and her face in his dreams.

.

Xander sat down on the bench in the bus stop slowly. It's freaking freezing out here, he thought to himself. He looked up at the sky, as the rain came pouring down. He heard a bus squeak somewhere. He jolted up, looking around for any vampires carrying boxes.

He turned the corner into the bus parking lot. He looked suspiciously at the bus. He snuck carefully over, a cross hidden behind his back.

"Hello?" He called as he got closer. The only thing that answered him was silence. He shrugged and leaned against a nearby wall, breathing into his numb hands. He rubbed them together, trying to gather some warmth. Why had Giles made him go wait in a bus depot all night, in the pouring rain?

A strange looking fat guy cam up to him. He hobbled up to him in till he was about 2 feet away. "Do you want me to wash your hair?" The wino asked.

Xander looked at him strangely, and shook his head. "Ahh, no thanx, really. In fact, I just washed my hair a couple of hours ago. See, it's still wet." He said, pointing to his head, and laughing nervously.

The guy shrugged, and hobbled away. Xander looked after him, and watched in till he was far away. He shook his head, and decided to head home.

.

He could feel the pain starting to grow, slowly ripping him apart from the inside. He tried to fight it, but in the end found himself giving into the pain. He wanted to go away from her, afraid that he might hurt her when the change was complete, but he wanted to spend his last moments with her. Selfish me, he thought.

Buffy looked over at Angel questioningly. It was obvious he was in pain. He had his back turned to her. She grabbed his shoulder, and turned him around to face her. She was surprised to see tears in his eyes. She caressed the side of his face.

"What's wrong?" She said softly, moving in closer to him.

He shook his head, implying that there was nothing wrong. Suddenly, he felt the pain stop. He felt like all the guilt, and pain he was holding in had just all been lifted off his chest. When he looked at Buffy, and saw the love in her eyes, he almost threw up. It sickened him to see her so happy, he wanted to make her miserable. A small smile crept across his face as he used one of his arms to grab hold of her waist, and pull her close to him.

She looked up at him in, and smiled. Her smiled faded as she looked at his eyes. His usual beautiful brown eyes seemed dead, and almost black. She felt herself falling into them. She looked away quickly, shaking off the urge to look back into the pools of blackness that she saw in his eyes.

He lifted up her chin to meet her lips with his, and kissed her softly. He then made a small trail of kisses down her neck. He whispered something softly in her ear, that she hesitated to answer.

"Do you trust me?" He asked softly, kissing her earlobe.

She wondered why she hesitated. She had always trusted him, why was she hesitating now? They had just made love. She answered softly.

"Yes."

He smiled to himself, and kissed her neck. His face shifted, as the demon revealed himself.

She felt his face shift, sometimes you could actually hear it if you listened carefully. Her whole body tensed up with fear. She knew what he was going to do, and she did not like it one bit, even if he only did taste a drop of her blood.

He had her pinned down on the bed, which she did not like either. He was not holding her down on the bed with a death grip, but he was holding her down pretty hard nonetheless. She squirmed under him.

"Angel?" She asked weakly, as a tear fell down her face.

"Shhh. Don't speak." He said softly.

She did not know why she was acting like this, she trusted Angel with her life. He would never betray her for the world, she knew that. She was sure that he would not hurt her.

"Good bye, Slayer." He whispered to her.

She panicked, what the hell was wrong with him? She tried to throw him off her, but he was holding her down too hard. She suddenly felt his sharp fangs sink into her neck. The pain was almost unbearable. She tried to move her neck away, but he quickly detached from her, and rammed the back of her head into the headboard, growling at her. Stars obstructed her vision, as the pain in her head started to grow. He put his fangs back in her neck, sucking lightly.

She cried, calling his name softly over, and over again. This was not Angel, something had happened to him. Maybe... maybe, he lost his soul. She cringed. She did not know how it happened, but there was nothing she could do now. She knew that she was going to die. She began to get very nauseated. She felt her life draining away, slowly spilling into Angel.

Angel slowly let go of Buffy's neck. It took all his self control, but he somehow managed to. He needed to leave some of her blood left, or what he was going to do would never work. He felt her pulse, she was very close to dying. He reached over to the night side table, and opened the drawer. He took out what looked like a Swiss army knife. He slit his wrist slowly, clenching his teeth from the pain. He watched for a second as the blood slowly spilled out of the wound. He sat Buffy up slightly, and put his wrist up to her mouth. Her eyes flew open almost immediately, as she grabbed his wrist, and shoved it to her mouth.

Buffy sucked at Angel wrist fast, not savoring any of the delicious crimson liquid that trickled into her mouth. She wanted to stop, she really did, but she could not. She thought it was totally disgusting what she was doing, but on the other hand, the blood running through her mouth, over her tongue, and all through her body felt wonderful. She felt as if she was being drugged, it gave her a feeling inside she could not describe.

Angel slowly took his wrist from her mouth, dabbing a gauze on it. He watched as she licked her lips, and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.

"Thank you." She whispered, with a seductive smile.

Without another word, she yawned, and went back to sleep. This time though she did not breathe, just lay there silently, looking as if she was dead. Which she was.

.

Part Two

"Where could she be?!" Xander asked Giles. "I mean we have checked everywhere, and asked everyone!" He was really worried about Buffy. She had been gone for so long, okay, only a day and a half, but nonetheless, it was something to freak out about. He wondered what could have happened.

"What about Angel, he is missing too." Cordelia asked him.

"Who cares about Angel? Buffy's missing, she's way more important then Angel!" Xander said, annoyed that Cordelia had to bring up him at a time like this.

"Xander!" Willow yelled at him, giving him a good slap on the arm. Angel was a good friend, and she was worried about not only about Buffy, but also him.

"What?" Xander asked innocently, rubbing his arm. Both girls rolled there eyes.

"Xander please calm down!" Giles yelled at him. Not only did Xander shutup, but everybody else did. After making sure that he had their attention, he tried to make them listen. "Now, we need to think. I am sure there is something, something were missing, somewhere that we haven't looked." He said, he was worried about both of them. He felt like it was his fault, he did not know why, but that's how he felt. He took off his glasses, and rubbed his eyes. He sighed, what could have happened to them? If the judge killed them, the world would have been destroyed by now, and the world was still there and everything, so that was out of the question.

"God, this is so sad. Buffy and Angel were so perfect together, and you always told us she was like the strongest slayer so far." Cordelia said, interrupting everybody's thoughts. They all looked at her.

"Do you really find that important right now, Cordelia?" Giles asked annoyed.

"Well actually I do, if you really want to know." Cordelia replied, a matter of factly. Giles rolled his eyes, went back into his office, and slammed the door. Everybody looked at each other.

"We have to do something." Willow said. "We checked Angel's apartment, right?" Willow asked.

"It was locked." Xander replied.

"You mean you did not try to break down the door or anything?" She asked in disbelief. Xander opened his mouth to say something, but Willow cut him off.

"Come on." She said, dragging Cordelia behind her.

.

Xander, Willow, and Cordelia all stood in front of Angel's door.

"So... who's going to break in? I would offer to, but I just got a manicure, and I really do-" Cordelia started, but got cut off by Willow and Xander's annoyed look.

Xander, and willow at the same time rammed into the door with their bodies, making the door swing open freely. Xander stepped in cautiously, followed by Cordelia, and Willow. He looked around, it looked as if the place had been trashed.

"Hello?" Xander asked, to the empty room. Willow walked over to the bed. She almost screamed when she saw the blood all over the bed, and the bloody knife. Buffy, and Angel's clothes from the night before were strewn around the bed, and the floor around it. She covered her mouth, making sure she did not scream.

"You guys, you better get over here." She said weakly. They hurried over, and they almost did the same thing as Willow, but stopped themselves.

"I know this a little off subject, well sort of, but it looks like they had sex. I don't get the blood, and the knife though." Cordelia said, her voice filled with fear.

"I second that." Xander added, even though it was hard for him to admit it. "We need to find out who's blood it is. Maybe we should get Giles, I don't know if he could help us, but it might help." Xander suggested, stumbling over the words.

"I am really drawing a blank with the blood, and the knife. I mean what could they have done, or for that matter, what did somebody do to them?" Cordelia asked, confused.

"Lets get back to the library, but I think we should block the door, or something, so nobody gets in." Willow said.

"Good idea." Xander replied. He took in a deep breath, and closed his eyes. He feared the worse.

.

Part Three

Buffy awoke slowly, stretching languidly. She looked around at her surroundings. She was sleeping in a queen sized bed, with black satin sheets, and a purple velvet bedspread. It was a canopy bed, with black silk drapery that hung from the top. There was a nice wood dresser in front of the bed, and off to the side there was a wooden closet. It had beautiful wooden carvings on it of flowers, and vines. On either side of the bed there were wood night tables, with drawers. A lamp with a colorful glass shade sat on each one. At the moment only one lamp was on, it was on the side she was sleeping. She looked to her right to see Angel sitting in an armchair. He was watching her, smiling.

"Look who's awake." He said with a smirk.

She sat up, and stretched. Reaching her arms up high.

"Did you sleep this much when you first became a vampire." She asked him, looking over at the digital clock that sat on the night table. It proved to her just how long she had slept. A day, and a half. He must have carried her or something from his apartment. She looked down and noticed what she was wearing, a black, silk slip. It was dangerously low cut in the front, and pretty short.

"Did you have fun dressing me?" She asked sarcastically, looking back over at him.

"Yes, and yes I did sleep this much after I became a vampire, actually... I slept a lot more." He said, a half smile playing along his lips. He stared into space, lost in thought.

Buffy cleared her throat, snapping Angel out of his daze. He jumped, surprised.

"Wha-I mean, sorry." He said, grinning sheepishly.

She grinned back. She pushed the covers off her, and stretched again, yawning. She scooted herself to the edge of the bed in front of Angel, and let her legs hang over the side. It was a tall bed, her feet barely reached the floor. Her stomach growled at her, actually, she was not sure it was her stomach.

"It's the demon." He said, reading her thoughts.

"I'm guessing it means it's telling me that I'm hungry, right?" She asked.

"Get some clothes on, and I will take you out hunting." He said standing up, and kissing the back of her hand.

"Okay, but problem, what clothes? All my clothes are at home." She said, trying to figure him out.

He cocked his head towards the closet. She looked towards the closet, and shrugged. She walked over slowly, pulling her hair back in her hands. She opened the closet to reveal all her clothes, except for all the ones that were colorful. Blacks, Grays, Reds, Dark Greens, and whites. She could live with it. On the bottom were all her shoes, again except for all the colorful ones. In the far corner of the closet she could see some of Angel's clothes, she noticed a pair of leather pants. She thought of the nice moment when she could see him in them.

"Where are we going?" She asked, turning to him.

"The Bronze, I guess. That's a good place to start." He said shrugging. She looked in the closet again, and turned back to Angel.

"Underwear?" She asked. He pointed to the dresser.

"Oh." She said. She pulled out the underwear she needed, and slipped in on. Angel watched her intently, smirking slightly. After putting on her underwear, she turned, and kissed him lightly on the lips. She walked over to the closet, and pulled out a short crimson velvet dress. She pulled it over her head, and put on Angel's jacket, and her knee high boots.

"Dressed to kill." She said in a ditzy, but evil voice. Angel smiled, grabbed her hand, and pulled her out of the room. She stopped for a moment.

"Wait, do you have a mirror?" She asked. Angel looked at her in disbelief. He shook his head, and laughed at her.

"You never learn do you?"

.

"Giles?!" Xander yelled as he came jogging into the library.

"Giles?!" Willow called as she came in after Xander. After her came a very tired looking Cordelia.

"In here." Came Giles voice from inside his office. He hurried out. "What is it?" He asked. "Did you find anything?" He added. Everybody looked at each other.

"We went over to Angel's apartment, and broke in. Their clothes from the other night were strewn around the bed, and the floor around it, meaning they had sex... but there's more." Xander paused slightly. "There was blood all over the bed, and a bloody knife, and the place looked like it had been trashed, and almost all of Angel's clothes were gone." He swallowed hard as he saw the look on Giles face.

Giles took in this information slowly. His slayer had had sex with a vampire? He would definitely be fired. He tried to think of some explanation of the blood, and everything, but he could not think of anything besides that they could have been attacked.

"We need to go back, I want to see it. Maybe I will be able to find out what happened."

.

Buffy sat at her table in the Bronze, waiting for Angel to come back. She had already eaten. She felt someone tap her on the shoulder, she turned around quickly. There he was.

"You took long enough." She said. He smiled at her observation.

"Come on, I need to get something at my apartment." He said taking her hand. They walked out slowly, staying in the shadows.

As they came outside, she felt the cool breeze kiss her face. The stars shone brightly in the sky, and the moon was so full, she wondered why it did not just fall out of he sky.

"Do you need to get anything from your house?" He asked her, interrupting her thoughts. She looked over at him, her eyes studying him. She shook her head, he nodded in response.

They arrived at Angel's apartment quickly. He was about to open the door, when he noticed there was a chain and lock on the door.

"What the hell?" He whispered to himself. He ripped it off easily, and the door swung open. The apartment looked the same as he had left it, trashed. Buffy looked around.

"Were you in a bad mood or something?" Buffy asked him sarcastically, observing the mess.

"No, just felt like it." He said with a shrug.

"Oh." She said, still not understanding why he would totally trash the place. He walked in, moving around the stuff that was on the floor. He went over to the dresser, and opened the top drawer. Buffy followed him, curious as to what he was getting.

"What are you looking for?" She asked behind him.

"This." He said pulling out a black sweater.

"Oh." She said, she thought it might actually be something important. He walked over to the closet, and took out a small dark green, velvet jewelry box. Now she was interested. It was a well made box, it had metal hinges on it that squeaked as he opened it. Inside was a silver ring with a round, beautiful garnet on it.

"This is for you." He said taking it out of the box carefully. "I got it a long time ago. Not only is it your birthstone, but it also has mystical powers. I'm not sure what it does exactly, but I can probably find out." He whispered to her. He handed it to her so she could look. It was a dark, dark purplish red. She looked into it and saw millions of colors, like a rainbow. She felt herself falling into the colors. Angel noticed this, and snapped his fingers in front of her face. She looked up quickly.

"I'm fine, fine." She said, shaking her head, she had one hell of a headache now.

"That's good that your fine." He said. She smiled.

"Fine." She repeated. He looked at the ring then her.

"Do you want me to put it on you?" He asked.

"Sure." She handed him the ring. He looked at it for a second. He spotted what she had been looking at so hypnotically. The ring was filled with millions of colors zipping in different directions. The ring must be extremely powerful. He looked at her for a second, she was staring of somewhere. He looked at her left hand and saw he couldn't put it there 'cause of the Claddagh ring that sat on her finger. He decided to put it on her right ring finger.

"Buffy?" He asked softly. She still seemed to be somewhere else. He was afraid that staring hard at the ring had to do something with her zoning out. "Buffy?" He said a bit louder. She still didn't seem to hear him. He went over to her, and tapped her on the shoulder, she didn't move. "Okay, lets try something else." He said obviously to himself since Buffy was off in her little world. He snapped his fingers in her face, she still didn't seem to move. He regretted it, but he punched her in the face, and not very hard. She shook her head, and blinked once.

"Wha- I-. Huh?" She seemed completely clue less.

"Are you okay?" He asked, with concern in his voice. Most people said that vampires couldn't feel love, or really feel at all, but he lived long enough to realize that it was a lie.

"I'm fine." She said a bit languidly.

"Where did you go, Buffy. I missed you." He said sarcastically. She didn't ketch on.

"What?" She asked confused. Could she have been completely out of it? Like, not even there, but not really anywhere else. What had happened?

"Never mind." He said, shaking his head. "You wanted me to put on the ring for you." He said.

"What? Oh yeah, sorry, I'm a little spaced out." She replied. Yeah, I noticed, he said to himself. "Angel?" She asked, as he put the ring on her right ring finger. She felt something go through her as he put the ring on.

"Yeah?" He replied.

"Where did you get the Claddagh ring you gave me?" She asked. He thought back for a second. Where did he get it? Now he remembered.

"I got it from a jewelry shop in Galway, where I lived when I was human." He said, cringing at the thought of being human.

"And why exactly did you get two." She asked suspiciously. He paused for a second.

"I had bought it for my wife, but that night was the night Darla killed me, so... I kinda didn't get to give it to her. In other words it was un-worn when I gave it to you." He said. He thought of Darla. Why did he kill her again? Oh yeah, he had a soul. Oh well, she had always been a bitch to him.

"You never told me you had a wife." She said.

"Hence the word 'had'. To the whole world I'm dead, to the whole world she's dead. I don't have a wife." He explained. "I have you." He added with a smile. He leaned down and kissed her lips softly.

"You're not getting out of this that easily." She said, trying to push him away.

"Oh yeah?" He challenged her, pushing her back on to the sofa. He laid down on top of her, trapping her under him.

"Not fair." She said, trying to push him on to the floor, but he was putting all his weight down on her. He smiled, and started kissing her.

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